im falling off my rocker. my adrenalin is pumping so hard. im shaking and feel very sick. i was starting to forget this mess, and put it behind me. idk what to do. im not cut out for this life and ive always known it. so why do i keep torturing myself by staying. i have no one to talk to. my mom is asleep and she turns her phone off. im begging for help right now!!!