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  1. silent_chaos

    silent_chaos Well-Known Member

    im falling off my rocker. my adrenalin is pumping so hard. im shaking and feel very sick. i was starting to forget this mess, and put it behind me. idk what to do. im not cut out for this life and ive always known it. so why do i keep torturing myself by staying. i have no one to talk to. my mom is asleep and she turns her phone off. im begging for help right now!!!
     
  2. silent_chaos

    silent_chaos Well-Known Member

    i dont want to go to the hospital they dont understand here. they just tell you if you really want to kill yourself you would have done it already. and thats exactly what they said to me.
     
  3. MyCatWillMissMe

    MyCatWillMissMe Well-Known Member

    I don't know the details of your situation but don't do anything yet until you get some feedback over whatever is troubling you.
     
  4. sahel

    sahel SF Supporter

    I am sorry you that you can't talk to your mom. But we are here for you, you can always come here and talk to us.
     
  5. silent_chaos

    silent_chaos Well-Known Member

    this chic i let accses my bank account tried to take 5,000 out of my other account. but i put a freeze on both accounts. for nothing to go in or out. but she just texted me saying i stole her money and that she turned me in. shes putting up a big fight but i seen the transactions myself. i sould have stood my ground not let her to talk me into getting the account (s). she keeps saying its her money and im not going to get away with stealing her money. there where big red flags and still got talk me into opening these accounts for her. im a worth less piece of dirt. i seriously put myself in bad situations without think about it. till it goes south and im sucked dry. the one banker that they wouldnt release the funds cause there wasnt 5000 in the account. and i asked what account suppose to be transfering the money and he told me and i said i was afraid of that. well funds wernt accept the funds for that there was 5000 in the account. the banker says nothing will happen to me cause no money is nor here or there. the fraud department hasnt called and it could take up to 30 days. i just dont want to fight any more. im 37 and seems like it dont know right from wrong. i dont know whats going to happen next. and im close to not wanting to find out. im a tool!
     
  6. Brian777

    Brian777 Safety and Support Forum Pro SF Supporter

    Hey brother, we all make mistakes don't beat yourself up. I'm sure it'll all work out and it's good the accounts have been frozen. I've done some stupid stuff in the past that cost me money trying to help people out. Sometimes we trust others too easy, cause we think they're like us and believe the best in people. It's unfortunate, but it happens.
    Hang in there and forgive yourself, this will pass and you'll feel better.
    Brian
     
  7. silent_chaos

    silent_chaos Well-Known Member

    im a girl! its ok you didnt know.
     
  8. Petal

    Petal SF dreamer Staff Alumni SF Supporter

    We've all screwed up at times. I would give an example only I'm toom embarrassed lol but trust me you're not in this alone. We've all done/said things we regret and the internet is swarming with people who would sell you for a dollar but there's also so many good people out there too :) Please start being kinder to yourself, you deserve to feel better than this. As I said last night, try the skills you learned at DBT, I did last night and it prevented me from cutting, good luck hun :)
     
  9. Brian777

    Brian777 Safety and Support Forum Pro SF Supporter

    I'm so sorry, please accept my apology
     
  10. silent_chaos

    silent_chaos Well-Known Member

    this situation has dragged me down. theres things i need to do but im not even getting out of bed. havnt taken a shower in 3 days. i spent most of the day organizing my pictures on my computer. cuddled with my bird. and of course music. but im gone. im trying so hard not to push people away. im trying to live in the moment. im hoping i can get up enough to do laundry tomorrow
    .
     
  11. Petal

    Petal SF dreamer Staff Alumni SF Supporter

    Maybe have a warm bath? It wil calm you down and clean you, killing 2 birds with the one stone. Listen to relaxing music. What time is it where you are? Since you are up now why not do the laundry now and it will take the burden off of tomorrow.
     
  12. silent_chaos

    silent_chaos Well-Known Member

    its 12 am here. time is getting away from me. i would like to take a drive but its really foggy.
     
  13. MyCatWillMissMe

    MyCatWillMissMe Well-Known Member

    Hope you are doing alright and got around to taking that bath :)
     
  14. silent_chaos

    silent_chaos Well-Known Member

    nope just a shower. but i helped. took my bird in with me
     
  15. MyCatWillMissMe

    MyCatWillMissMe Well-Known Member

    Lol well that's pretty cool if you can shower with your bird. I've found that having a clean room and clean house and keeping yourself clean does slightly help you deal with misery. So keep that in mind.
     
  16. MommaJay

    MommaJay Member

    I have heard this too, but what if you can't get out of bed to clean and organize? That's where I am at a lot of the time. Stuck in bed.
     
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