Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by coffee, Nov 22, 2009.

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  1. coffee

    coffee Well-Known Member

    I've done enough with everything
    my life, abuse, pains, humiliations, neglect, abandonments, rejections etc...

    I don't even want to start but the truth is that I am tired.
    I am tired of everything
    I don't want to face another day
    I don't want to feel or think
    hate that I am breathing

    no matter how much I sleep, I am sleepy all the time
    mind as well, why can't I just end my life.

    I have written down ways to kill myself
    feels like I am getting close toward death each day.

    it's just a matter of time

    I want to run away
    no matter how fast I run or how far I go
    I always end up being in the same spot

    full of sadness, pains, fears, loneliness

    I feel my souls, my thoughts are getting detached from my body
    I don't know who I am or what I am any longer
    I don't know why I am here breathing and typing and trying to let
    ppl know how pathetic I am...

    I am in hell everyday, every second
    every-time I breath, it's just too painful
    I hate that I am in this world

    I can't even accept myself so no one will
    I feel dizzy...
    I want to fall asleep and die peacefully

    if there is a god
    Please help me

    I am not even trying hard... I am not even doing anything
    but I am so tired.... I can't face another day or keep running
    nothings working anymore

    so I am done
    no more...

    I am so tired
    no more feelings or pains

    no more...
  2. brueyh1976

    brueyh1976 Well-Known Member

    I hear you, I do. You do sound tired but here's what I want you do. Keep hanging on, keep fighting the fight to stay alive and most importantly of all I want to take it one day at a time. I'm not asking much, just that you do that.
  3. WildCherry

    WildCherry Staff Member ADMIN

    Please don't give up. You're not pathetic, and what you have to say is important. Please keep talking, and reach out if you need to. My PM box is always open, so drop me a PM if you feel like talking.
  4. Sadeyes

    Sadeyes Staff Alumni

    That is such a profound question, what to do what you feel you can do nothing...have been there so many times...I found if I just moved...did something...I had a little more juice to do something else...hope this free up for you soon...big hugs, J
  5. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    such deep despair deep sadness Your depression is clouding everything all your thoughts. I dont' know if you are on any medication if not ask GP to try you on one as it does take the edge of the pain. I think best medicine is talking to someone not just here but someone with real voice. Crisis team have kind people who will just talk to you help you hold on until these emotions pass. Good Samaritans also good people to talk to. Is there a councillor you can talk to a doctor a friend a family member a priest anyone to distract you from yourself. Go for a walk even just open door get some fresh air Depression is treatable you do not have to stay where you are there is help so call for it. Call GP and get some support in place for you. This was first step coming here as there are many here to help you so keep holding on okay we care your not alone anymore.
  6. coffee

    coffee Well-Known Member

    Thanks guys....

    I will be seeing my P in a few weeks but I guess I have to change the appointment to sooner...

    I've been feeling suicidal since I was 5... this isn't nothing new...

    actually I should call my P right now and change the appointment...

    I know I can't kill myself becuase I have to take care of my son.

    I can't give pains to my family or friends...

    I am just worried that I am going to deicded to be selfish and killing myself.
    cuz I can't trust myself anymore...

    I can tell that I am getting weak day by day...

    Thanks to everyone though...

    I am glad that I found this place...
  7. WildCherry

    WildCherry Staff Member ADMIN

    I'm glad you found us too. If you're ever feeling weak, post here, or reach out to someone. We'll help you as much as we can, help you to stay strong during the bad times.
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