'donethat ' update *beware of triggers*

Discussion in 'Help Me! I Need to Talk to Someone.' started by patacake, Sep 15, 2008.

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  1. patacake

    patacake Well-Known Member

    Written on behalf of Dawn (donethat)

    My goodness this has been a long 2 days , thanks everyone for ur support so far , i am about to say some tough things because thankfully my dear friend is still with me and has asked me to tell here exactly what has happened with her - something i would never normally do.

    It is Dawns wish that ppl here can read the effects of a failed attempt and the heartache knowing someone u love so dear wanting to die so badly can cause, so :

    On Sunday morning at 430 am Dawn arrived at my home , she was heavily medicated and also had some alcohol on board , I tried to disuade her from what she told me were her intentions once she had shared a final cup of tea with me , she was adamant that her life trials had gotten the better of her and that she would be ending her life once leaving me , ( of course i made up my mind that I would not be letting her from my sight following this statement ) Over the next hour we talked as so many times we have and she spoke of her sorrow , her loves in her life , her precious kids , she cried and so did I .

    I begged Dawn to rest on my sofa and sleep the feelings off and we would revisit them later but she adamantly refused , *:cry2: I am traumatised bc I have since discovered that had i persuaded her to do this not knowing the meds that were already poisoning her she would have died in her sleep - Im finding that so hard to deal with right now :cry: .

    I went into another room and when i returned to the kitchen , Dawn was sitting on the kitchen floor about to cut her arm open with a sharp kitchen knife , i wrestled the knife from her tho she tried so hard to hold onto it and sobbed at me to let her go , I raised my voice to my friend *cry telling her she was not going to bleed to death upon my kitchen floor .

    Dawn continued to sit there but closed her eyes , I removed all sharp knives and sneaked out into the hallway where i called the emergency surgery asking for an urgent doctor , I knew Dawn s wish was to die so badly at this moment and that i was doing the last thing she would have wanted.
    I returned to the kitchen , on close examination i felt that Dawns breathing was alternating between labouring and rapid :cry2: I could not believe the change and was then that I realised she had hoodwinked me and that an overdose of meds was already on board and now taking effect.My throat felt so narrow Dawn s eyes were closed , I grabbed my phone and dialed 999 for an ambulance , it was such a blur , Dawn was gagging and heaving and in her semi conscious state was repeating over and over that she must not be sick !!!!! I knew why she did not want to be , and I tried desperately to manouvre her into the recovery position to keep her airway clear as I was aware of a build up in her mouth .

    I have never felt that alone , my best friend , my rock and kindred spirit was going to die on my kitchen floor was what I thought and I would never have spoken those feelings had she not instructed me to do so.

    The ambulance arrived and we set off , on arrival at the hospital the resusitation team were prepared , we were told that Dawn was completely unconscious and was likely to stop breathing as the meds in her system were slowing down the respiratory system , at that point and twice more I was actually physically sick myself .

    Dawn was placed on a life support machine she had tubes coming from everywhere and saline going into her via a drip faster than ever before I have seen it set.

    All of Dawns beautiful family by this time had been called , her wonderful kids :cry2: whom she adores were gathered around her crying and that sight will remain with me forever , I was angry at that moment that the system had failed my friend , I hated the persons who have caused her abuse and misery and left her here to die . I wished those evil individuals could have to face those children right now like I was. I reassured the kids over and over that their mother adored them all , also that she was one of the strongest women I knew and that somehow she would come out of this (though at that moment I was unsure myself )

    It was another 5 hoyrs before Dawns body started to rehydrate and she was able to have the life support reduced , and I can say that cutting this horrendous story short it was 14 hours before she opened her eyes properly and nearly 24 hours before she spoke a few feeble words .

    Tonight I have just returned from a mental health hospital where I have taken my friend , she has been admitted and will be there for a minimum of 7 days . Dawn wants everyone here to know that she feels so desperately awful , guilty to her kids , and wishes to help even one person to avoid where she is now by saying , GET HELP , DONT BOTTLE UP UR ISSUES , TALK TO SOMEONE .

    My best friend had enough meds on board to kill her twice three times over , for some reason and I thankgod it didnt , Dawn is embracing the help she is being offered and says she will be here to see her granddaughter grow up , a promise I will be reminding her of over and over again .

    Please continue to hold her in ur thoughts , she cares so deeply for everyone but herself and if I have anything to do with it , shes damn well gonna be given the help she needs to at least return to a place where she can live safely within her own skin.

    Thankyou for listening , Im pretty cut up and like a zombie but i have said how it happened like Dawn wanted me to. :cry:

    Please take care and be safe :hug: Thank you so much for all ur kind wishes I have passed them to Dawn

    Jo xx
    Last edited by a moderator: Sep 15, 2008
  2. *dilligaf*

    *dilligaf* Staff Alumni

    i am actually sat here crying :cry:

    i dont know what to say. thank god for you hun, you are a great friend. a great woman.

    i hope people take notice of what you have posted and are reminded that death isnt the answer.

    as for dawn...i am so so glad you failed hun. we love you loads and hope to see you soon.

    :hug: for both of you :hug:
  3. resistance

    resistance Staff Alumni

    :hug: I'm really saddened it had to come to this, but I am glad to hear that Dawn is doing a little better and is receiving the help she needs. It sounds like it was a terrible time for both of you, and of course Dawn's family. I know we don't talk much but please know I am here if any of you would like to chat. You're an awesome friend to Dawn, she is lucky to have you in her life. :hug: to you both, get well soon Dawn.
  4. Starlite

    Starlite Senior Member

    no words just loads of hugs

    dawn im glad your attempt failed you

    jo you are an exceptional friend and one great person
  5. diver200

    diver200 Senior Member

    There is a special place in Heaven for you, Jo. Thanks for taking care of our sister Dawn. She is lucky to count you in her list of friends. Hugs.
  6. Oak

    Oak Senior Member & Antiquities Friend

    Thanks to you Jo, Dawn is still with us today and you took her whre she is more likely to get helped finally. Tell her I love and miss her greatly but reassured she will be treated at last by competent psy.

    Poor kids a nightmare after another is no way to grow up. When you see the kids, send my love specially to R and D. the youngests and tell the oldests to be strong that all will be alright from now on. (i hope after this one)

    Let me know when i can place a call to dawn, i'll wait for your 'ok' to do so.

    Sending you a huge hug for all that you have done and saving her life. You ae her guardian angel on earth.

    love, granny xox

    now get a restful night, you sure deserve it
    bless your heart hun, we owe you a lot
  7. patacake

    patacake Well-Known Member

    Thankyou for all ur kind and wonderful thoughts and words, im not special tho , believe me Dawn would have done the same exactly for me and wed both do it for any of you too :hug:

    everyone is precious and beautiful and has something to offer the world
  8. fromthatshow

    fromthatshow Staff Alumni SF Supporter

    wow. I am so sorry for you and Dawn.
  9. Dave_N

    Dave_N Guest

    You're really a guardian angel patacake. Thank you for saving Dawn's life and being such a caring friend. I hope she gets the help she needs and doesn't suffer any long term organ damage. :hug:
  10. gentlelady

    gentlelady Staff Alumni

    Jo I am so thankful you were there. I wish there was more I could have done that night to help the both of you. Send her my love when you next see her. I will keep her and the family in my prayers. Know that you will also be there as I know you too have a long road ahead of you. :hug:
  11. itmahanh

    itmahanh Senior Member & Antiquities Friend

    :cry: :cry: :cry: cant stop please tell her I love her. Thank you so much Jo!
  12. TinkerLoop

    TinkerLoop Well-Known Member

    im late here and late for work but ill just text ya
  13. Petal

    Petal SF dreamer Staff Member Safety & Support SF Supporter

    That sounds awful :sad: She is lucky to have you as a friend :hug: I hope she recovers soon.
  14. danni

    danni Chat Buddy

    dawn :sad: wow this really gotten to me dawn hun, I'm glad you have friends like jo around to help you when you need them and that what we all need. I know your hurting but let jo and sf help you through this i know its tough and we will make it through hun. Jo thank you so much for helping her out your a wonderful friend :hug:
  15. see

    see Well-Known Member

  16. patacake

    patacake Well-Known Member

    Ill be going down to the hospital later on today to spend a few hours with Dawn , she is doing ok at the moment , I am feeling stronger after a lil sleep so i will be motivating her today and encouraging her the same way as she would for any of us :mellow: I m not going going to be sad , im determind that Dawn will see I have faith in her to beat this .

    I will take all the lovely wishes everyone has left here , she is worried about her friends here as Dawn would be so please everyone stay strong , surely we all deserve a future , lets do it together.

    Thanks for the support its been a tremendous help reading the replies.

    SHE IS GONNA DO THIS !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
    Jo x
  17. Abacus21

    Abacus21 Staff Alumni

    Just wanted to give you both a hug.. :hug:

    Jo - you know where I am if you need a shoulder :)
  18. purplefizz

    purplefizz Senior Member

    I'm glad to hear that she survived and I hope she will be okay. I'm thinking of you guys. :rose:
  19. Fuzzy Monkey

    Fuzzy Monkey Well-Known Member

    In glad u failed dawn, u kno how much I love u and need u around. I hope u get some help Hun, u kno I'm always here for u
  20. shazzer

    shazzer Well-Known Member

    Jo I'm glad you were there for Dawn It must have been so awful for you to go through she is lucky to have a good friend like you :hug:

    Dawn I hope your feeling a bit better today :hug:
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