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donno what the title should be. be careful reading it might trigger.

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Ouroboros

SF Supporter
#1
when i went to bed last night I felt strange.. this might sound weird.. death was on my mind, it had been most the day. i felt like my body was dead, decomposing.. i know thats kinda stupid coz how the hell would i know what that feels like but thats the only way i can explain. i felt like i was gone but stuck in my body as it rotted, and i could feel it happening. i tried to block it out but i lay there restlessly for a while, while this feeling continued throughout my body. couldn't stay still, when i was still it felt more powerful.. eventually my meds took over and knocked me out.
 

Kiba

Well-Known Member
#2
:hug: I think I understand. Kinda when things are falling apart inside you maybe. Or a feeling like you are trapped and spiraling down. Maybe the stress is too much and you feel as though its aging you, making you decay. I hope things will get better for you though. Glad you were able to sleep. Take care!
 

Ouroboros

SF Supporter
#3
yeah.. i watch things i shouldn't.. like i'm afraid of the dark coz of all the scary things i imagine to be there.. so maybe something like that influenced the feeling.. and yes.. i am afraid, of time, and well from previous post i made, i despise myself and feel that i am ageing, people think i'm nuts when i tell them. I mean i am technically every day we all are but it feels fast, i feel like i can feel myself dieing, time runs too quickly and yet i'm afraid to move. and no the irony is not lost on me, yes i am sat here wanting to die for feeling the way i do.. its stupid, but i don't want to die slow and painfully like this. urgh. the feeling is still lingering on me. my body.. feels.. urgh.. don't want to be stuck in here.
 

Kiba

Well-Known Member
#4
Well.. stress can put a big toll on you. And in a way it can really age you.. The stress can also feel like a parasite, eating away at you. And slowly killing you. But at some point there will be a break off. And either things will go terribly wrong or things will get better. :hug: Right now I think your trick is to cause that breaking point before it becomes too much and it ends up worse. Maybe try talking more to a therapist or someone about these feelings. I've been there a few times, and it's not fun. But you can get through it. Hope you feel better! :hug:
 
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