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Don't be afraid of feeling anxious or nervous.

Discussion in 'Positive Feelings and Motivational Messages' started by Pertokeyo, Jul 28, 2013.

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  1. Pertokeyo

    Pertokeyo Banned Member

    Change and unfamiliarity can be scary. It can make you feel really anxious and nervous, and although this feels bad, it can be mean some really good signs.

    Firstly you are usually nervous when you are interacting or doing something that you really want to do, such as a business interview or meeting somebody you really want to feel appreciated by. You're worried about failing, and that builds up a strong anxiety - however you really want it so you in truth nervousness is uncontrolled excitement. Just realise that you can achieve what you want, and your nerves and anxiety will change to excitement, and you can be happy doing anything you want.

    Secondly being nervous is sign that you feel like you're in unfamiliarity. This is important because it signifies that the body and mind is having to adapt and change. You need new experiences. They inspire something very deep down inside of you and allow you evolve at the deepest level. Without change or unfamiliarity, the mind doesn't learn to adapt, and that something deep inside of us seldom awakens.

    So sometimes, even if scares you, charge in and do what you really want to do if it is safe and beneficial to you and/or to somebody special. It will be worth it because you're worth it.
  2. morning rush

    morning rush Well-Known Member

    wow you have no idea what generalized anxiety is do you? What you're talking about is normal anxiety, but a lot of people here have more than that.

    you said:

    Just realise that you can achieve what you want, and your nerves and anxiety will change to excitement, and you can be happy doing anything you want.

    Yeah maybe in a dream world...but in reality, it's more complicated than that. If I could do that, then I wouldn't need my medications....

    I understand what you're trying to do, but to me this feels insulting and ignorant. If people could do what you say just with the thought of it...then no one would be mentally ill...which to me is unrealistic...you're not caring for people when you write stuff like that...everyone is different and it's more than what you said...
  3. flowers

    flowers Senior Member

    Yes, my friend. You are right. And thank you for writing what you did. It may help other people who read this. Because often people who come to sf are are just trying to survive from day to day. And they have great courage in doing just that !!!
  4. Pertokeyo

    Pertokeyo Banned Member

    You're assuming I am saying that you do such a thing through just a thought. Only ignorant people believe that they can change themselves through thoughts alone.

    If you want to achieve what I said then yes it takes a lot of self determination and energy. Where does that energy come from? It comes from your environment, which is everything, from the physical constructs of your room to the conversations with your family. Try to allow the environment around you to give the energy you need to make those big positive changes, and if your environment can't do that, then you need to change your environment, and of course that is an endeavour that is different for every individual.
  5. morning rush

    morning rush Well-Known Member

    the problem is that you know nothing about anxiety and nervousness. You know nothing about how everyone struggles and you put them all in the same basket. Comments like these are not helpful at all, just reading that makes me feel worse, because I know you don't understand and are just regurgitating your own ideals...

    People who go through depression and suicidal thoughts don't need someone to bust their chops...all they need is someone to listen and NOT give advice. Most of the time we know what to do...we need support and an ear...if you can't do that, then you're not helping...sorry but this is reality...
  6. Pertokeyo

    Pertokeyo Banned Member

    I don't know extreme anxiety and nervousness, yes i'll admit that. But I do know coping strategies and I am suggesting something that could work. If you don't think it will work and the information isn't useful to you then simply discount it. There is no implication of any negativity, and if you're creating one then i'd admit I don't understand why you are.

    And I don't put them all in one basket. That is why I use the word "individuals" rather then "people". You are special in your own unique way, and if you don't want to try the suggestions or advice i've said, then that's fine. But please take into account that just because I haven't experienced something doesn't make the things I say "invalid", because they are to those who find the information useful. I'm worried that perhaps you are placing all struggling individuals into one basket, everybody has a unique perspective regardless of ill health or mental state.
    Last edited by a moderator: Jul 28, 2013
  7. morning rush

    morning rush Well-Known Member

    your first message does not say individual. It felt as though it was talking in general, that is why I said that. You changed your tune in the second message after I pointed out my thoughts on the message.

    I do understand that you want to help, I don't feel anything malicious from you, but sometimes even with the best intentions it can still cause havoc.

    Unless you are a professional...be careful of what you advertise....sure it might work for some but for others it might make them feel worse...I was voicing my thoughts, you might not like them poking holes through your theories...but that is life....

    I'm not here to argue but just watch what your saying...and watch your passive aggressive attacks...they can be big triggers to people here...
  8. Pertokeyo

    Pertokeyo Banned Member

    Yes, I appreciate that perhaps talking in 2nd person view isn't the most effective way of making suggestions. Thank you for pointing that out.

    But although professionals offer help, their help is different from my help. I don't have any training, yet I know almost everything there is to know about self help and psychological management. I've dedicated over twelves months to understanding and listening to the people I want to help. I am new to these forums, but not to the world of depression and self harm.

    But this isn't a debate for this thread. I can talk and listen to you though PMs - i'd like to know how I can help improve you in every way.
  9. flowers

    flowers Senior Member

    I, for one, would prefer you keep the discussion here. And not move it to private chat. I think its a good idea to keep it in open forum where others can see how the discussion is proceeding. Thank you
  10. meaningless-vessel

    meaningless-vessel Well-Known Member

    I can see where the OP is coming from initially. But for someone who says they have dedicated 12 months to listening and helping those with depression/self harm, I think there's a touch of lack of understanding.

    While this may or may not be true (don't get me wrong, I'm not disbelieving it - I'm just aware that people put on a forum what they want others to read at times - I've seen it happen elsewhere) - This does sound like there's a bit of over-confidence. Not many will react positively to an over-confident approach, because there are no rules as to how people feel. No-one is likely to know almost everything about a particular avenue unless it is so narrow a niche. Self-help and psychological management would be diverse as the people who participate in actively dealing with it - because people are unique.

    Misunderstandings and miscommunication is very easy with a written word. It is purely down to how the people read it at the other end. Some will be likely to disagree because of how they interpret it.

    Anxiety doesn't always come from change/nerves from unfamiliarity. Anxiety covers a fairly broad range - some have mild/moderate/severe, some have social, to name a few potential outlets - and the only way we would truly understand and appreciate it, is by being in a similar/identical situation. One of the best ways I have found to approach it (I meet up now and again with someone who can suffer from anxiety) - is to listen and learn what it is that they do in their situations. I have earned their trust and respect by doing so, and, for sheer consistency in the support, and reassurance that others actions are not anything to do with them.

    For people with mild anxiety issues, it may be slightly easier for them to overcome them in the way the OP is suggesting. Go further into the moderate/severe/social anxiety, and it can be a whole other ball game. Multiple bad experiences linked in with each other can make an individual's anxiety worse than those who have one or two. Not always, it depends on the experiences and what the person does with them.

    To go along with the OP fully I'd need to be less knowledgeable - therefore ignorant - as to what I've noted from others via forum or chat. And I don't think I can do that. The intention is good, perhaps do some reading around here first? Or maybe construct a piece off site before reading and checking through and adding it in? It may prove a useful tactic to have a better understanding of others points of view based on their individual experiences.

    For that reason - I would be more inclined to agree with both morning rush and flowers with what they've suggested.
  11. emily83

    emily83 Well-Known Member

    i couldn't have said it better myself.

    thanks for saving me the job of posting it.

    to the original poster, this just won't work .. you can't just wave a wand and be rid of all the anxiety
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