Ill wander the forums for hours reading threads of people and posting thoughs every once in a long while. ill go into chat, ill try to talk, but if i do i seem to get an anxiety attack. I try to make friends, but it seems like they wander away, and its hard when the close friends you have you care about so much you dont want to hurt by telling them the truth of how you feel, how You want to die so much, that you SI'ed again last night though you promised you would try to be safe... I dont feel i belong here, I cant fit in with the people, and the few people i fit in with i seem to hurt in the long run. people say it gets better, but ive given it 5 years, and its only gotten worse. I see people older than my parents on here who still hurt like hell.... does anyone else feel lost, lonely, outcast, a loner, and just plain like they dont belong and should leave?