Don't belong in my body...

Discussion in 'Rants, Musings and Ideas' started by Avalanche, Oct 19, 2008.

  1. Avalanche

    Avalanche Member

    I was just wondering if anyone else ever felt this way, or if it is just me.
    For a long time, I have never felt like my body is my own...it is always too big, too awkward. I feel so disconnected with it, sometimes I hardly recognise it as being my own. I have tried for many years to make it smaller, but it is never small enough...even when I become really sick, it is still not right.

    Being underweight does not help, being more toned does not help, being more tanned, more anything does not help.

    I think this is why I feel so nonchalant with the idea of hurting myself or even ending my life...I feel like I am stuck inside this thing that only hurts me. I just want it to go away...

    I know that makes no sense. I have to have it in order to be here. That is what I hate I guess. I know I need to connect with it more, and I have been trying, so I just wanted to know if anyone else struggles with this as well.

    Thanks for listening,
    Avalanche.
     
  2. Yeah... for so long, my body's felt like a "necessary evil". But frankly, I'm really tired of compromising :dry: