Don't bother reading. I'm not important.

Discussion in 'Rants, Musings and Ideas' started by Entity, Oct 26, 2009.

  1. Entity

    Entity Well-Known Member

    So this is to me.. why are you so fucked up? when will you learn to be able to do something right? Why do you always end up hurting people? Why do you fall in love with someone that can't accept your love? Why do you sit up all night and plan your suicide but then can't do it becuase you'd be murdering someone else? Why is almost every other thought in your head about si? How much longer will you make it really? I'm so fucked up.. i wish i could do something right.. i wish i was at least that half decent human being my mother wished i was.. maybe then she'd love me.. accept me.. What about my friends.. all of them are online.. i wish i had someone in real life i could hang out with and be with.. but i don't..because i'm scared of people..why? I don't know. :( I'm scared of my appointment with the psychologist this coming Friday. It's three hours long of psychological testings? and then November third i meet with my psychiatrist for the first time ever and if i say anything about wanting to die or about wanting to hurt myself they will baker act me which is adolescent hospitalization.. I'm so scared.. i have to figure out a way around this.. i just don't know how yet..but i'm running out of time.. i want to die so bad.. but i know if i die. i kill someone else in the process and i don't even want to come close to thinking about her dying. :(
  2. HiddenTears

    HiddenTears Well-Known Member

    I don't really know what you are going through Kat, I have never done that. The important thing is that someone else knows how much you are hurting and they want to help you. Someone does care about you, otherwise they wouldn't put you in that position. So maybe this is good for you in the long term. I know right now you are afraid of how they will react to what you say, but maybe you need to be yourself and get the help that you need. I know that I keep everything inside, and noone knows how much I hate myself and I wish I would have taken care of it years ago. This is your opportunity. I am guessing that someone knows how horrible you feel and that's why you are going. Just think if they can help you, isn't it worth a try? And you are important to me if not anyone else.
  3. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    I agree if you can get help now that person you are staying alive for will see you happy and strong and you can have a better life together. Get help now sooner than later because you deserve to be happy. I care too we all care here and want to see you strong and well.
  4. Terry

    Terry Antiquities Friend Staff Alumni

    Now see, I saw that title and was miffed at it to be honest.
    Everyone is important, we just don't always take the time to find out just how important.
    I firmly believe we all touch each others lives in someway and change it (for better or worse). Never think you don't count!
  5. yursomedicated

    yursomedicated Chat & Forum Buddy

    you're the most important thing to me. i wish you would believe that. and i'll be right there waiting for the appointments to be over and i'll be with you this weekend except the few hours i'll be at work.

    i love you.
  6. Petal

    Petal SF dreamer Staff Alumni SF Supporter

    Hey Katie,

    I remember reading a thread of yours about Derek a couple of days ago.. I can't find it now..

    Just wondering, have you got round to talking to your counsellor about him yet? Please let me know and like Terry said.. everyone is important.