Don't deserve help Rant

[hazeleyes]

i always say when I'm skinny or lose more weight I will get help and go to therapy because I don't deserve to get help if I'm fat. I don't deserve to get better because I have never attempted suicide (I want to kill myself but I'm a fucking pussy) and am not depressed or suicidal enough. I don't deserve to get better bc my life "isn't that bad", I'm young, pretty (according to some), others have it worse off, and I should just snap out of it and stop being a drama queen. Idk I'm just one person who has no friends, basically no family, so what's JUST ONE suicide, one death, no ine would care. Why do I deserve help if I have no impact whatsoever on this planet, itd just be a waste of time, I'm a waste of time, space, energy.

Idk I'm sorry I'm just so fucking alone and so fucking miserable but I just can't bring myself to die even though that's what I want. I'm sorry I'm crying right now please help me. I don't know how much longer I can take this. I just don't wanna wake up alive or with permanent damage after failing. I don't know what to do anymore.

 

[Petal]

Aww cry if it helps, let it all out @hazeleyes Take it from me firsthand, I have permanent damage from an attempt, don't make the same mistake I did.
Others very well might have it worse off but that doesn't undermine your suffering and pain.
I hope you seek help from a doctor who can prescribe medications that might help how you are feeling.
Keep fighting for your life and keep on battling and enduring we're all in the same boat here and we understand.
Best wishes

 

[froggymom]

Your life is precious because it is a gift from God. I's OK to cry if you are hurting, but it will only make you feel a little better for a very short time, if at all. It would be far better to make your life count for something. It doesn't have to be big things. Small kindnesses can go a long way. What are your talents? Have you done any volunteer work? One day a month I serve lunch to the homeless. I was shocked to find how grateful they were that I did this for them. Make a list of things you want to change in yourself, and start working on the list one at a time. Make the list realistic and achievable. God loves you and values you. Whatever your purpose is in life, only you can accomplish it. I will be praying for you beautiful hazeleyes, today, tomorrow and throughout next year.

 

[hazeleyes]

Your life is precious because it is a gift from God. I's OK to cry if you are hurting, but it will only make you feel a little better for a very short time, if at all. It would be far better to make your life count for something. It doesn't have to be big things. Small kindnesses can go a long way. What are your talents? Have you done any volunteer work? One day a month I serve lunch to the homeless. I was shocked to find how grateful they were that I did this for them. Make a list of things you want to change in yourself, and start working on the list one at a time. Make the list realistic and achievable. God loves you and values you. Whatever your purpose is in life, only you can accomplish it. I will be praying for you beautiful hazeleyes, today, tomorrow and throughout next year.

Wow thank you so much. I am not religious but it means a lot that you would pray for me.

 

[Dawn]

Hi @hazeleyes, I'm so sorry to hear u are alone like this because I am too and it is awful. The emptiness feels never ending.

If there is any way at all that u can make more of an effort to make friends and your own family do that (way easier said than done) But u are here like me and I'm sure u have tried. It is not easy at all these days to make friends, because almost everyone else has friends and family and are so busy they really don't want another addition in their life a lot of the time.

I don't know your age but I have realized looking back on my life that I wish I would have made more of an effort when I was younger. Because it only seems to get harder as I age.

Anyway, I have found this forum amazing and it has helped me so much. If u ever want to talk to someone who understands feel free to PM me. Just want u to know I wish u all the best and just know we are always here for u. Take good care

 

[froggymom]

You are most welcome, and I will not forget to pray for you.