Don't Deserve to Live

Discussion in 'Help Me! I Need to Talk to Someone.' started by hillside_with_flowers, May 11, 2013.

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  1. I don't deserve to live.

    I hurt those I'm the closest to.

    I've been trying to research my hillside scenario--work out the details. Nobody will give me answers, not even on ASH.

    I'm obsessed with it. I want it to be an option.

    What is my mind trying to tell me?
  2. I just want my body to lie beautifully on that hillside, where it will never be found. I want to disappear without a search party being deployed. I did a free write today, and I sketched the hill and kept writing, "calm, peace, release." I fear that death is the only thing that will bring me peace.
  3. WildCherry

    WildCherry ADMIN

    Why do you feel like you don't deserve to live?

    Here and listening if you want to talk.
  4. I've screwed up too much. I'll be doing well, then get into a fight with my husband.

    I'm job hunting, which is stressful, and I'm burdening my friends, who are my only support.

    I just want to go to that hillside, and rest, but I can't find any information on how to do it perfectly. I'm obsessed with it though. Probably trying to escape.
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