I don't have any dreams anymore. I just feel completely numb. I have lost all career dreams and aspirations, I don't see how where I am going is what I want, I do not know what I want, I have nothing to dream of, no one to dream of being, becoming. I don't dream about being in love anymore. I do not think in this situation I will ever meet someone, nothing is how I dreamt, nothing is becoming anywhere near what I wanted, just stuck lonely and unwanted. The rush of dreams has gone, that sort of infatuation with life or what could be. The last time I felt like that was after going to New York. Now what do I want, where do I want to be, whats the point. Just numb. Can't dream, can't think, no motivation, no ambition, no drive. I just look back at the times I used to dream and what it was like and I feel sad, sad because I cannot feel anything again, there is no rush from anything in life let alone dreaming as I go along, maybe thats it, I am not going along anywhere so how can I dream. Numb.