I don't think I even want help anymore. I don't know what's going on in my mind. I keep looking up ways to die or hoping I will get a non-currable disease. I'm going completely insane! I can't do this anymore, but I'm scared. Why do I have to be such a coward! I cannot live on like this. I just can't. I think I'm writting just to write because no help will help. I've heard it all. "It will get better, push through" Maybe, I don't want to. Maybe, I can't.