Couldn't seem to explain myself or get my point across in chat, so I thought I'd let y'all know that I'm not doing good, here in the forum. Guess I couldn't find the right words, and everyone's got their own stuff going down, I get that. Can't seem to think straight during any point each day. This morning I woke up and thought I could spend the whole day in a good mood, and I can't even seem to do that. I always go back to the dark thoughts, the dark places, and feel the need for a drink or a cigarette <Edit Moderator Method> I haven't cut in years, but sometimes I just get so close to doing it again, when I feel like no one gives a damn. Doubt anyone would reply to this, I mean, I'm not making much sense. I just really hate how my depression just WON'T LEAVE ME ALONE. Now I'm crying like a loser. I don't know any more. I'm losing faith in life.