dont even know what to say anymore...

Discussion in 'Rants, Musings and Ideas' started by KittyGirl, Feb 12, 2010.

  1. KittyGirl

    KittyGirl Well-Known Member

    I just don't want to be here any longer.
    I'm trying really hard to fix myself but I just feel uncomfortable and useless no matter how I look at things.
    I'm a person with no confidence and I don't even have the ability to pretend that I'm normal anymore...

    Was up all night crying- STILL- because one man does not want me... and I feel ridiculous for feeling like that over one person.
    I didn't even really care what anyone else thought of me because I knew that he loved me and that was all I ever wanted.
    He doesn't love me anymore... so why should anyone love me?
    I'm not a lovable person.
    I'm a selfconscious, FAKE person who does not deserve to breathe the same air as everyone else.

    I don't think I'll be able to get better from this point.
    I don't have any hope left- I just feel really... really heavy and dead.
     
  2. Avarice

    Avarice Well-Known Member

    Oooh, dear. I'm sorry to hear you're feeling this way. Why did you break up? People don't just stop loving someone just like that, if he really loved you then surely he must still have some kinds of feelings for you still? I can't really comment that well though since I don't know all the details of what happened. It's not easy finding the words to comfort you here, as I know only too well what it's like to cry all night over just one person who has made you feel so worthless and unwanted. I know the usual "It's his loss", "There's plenty more fish in the sea" lines won't make any difference or make you feel any better. All I can suggest is that if you and him really are 100% over, then just mourn his loss and in the end, time will begin to slowly heal your wounds and allow you to perhaps become more open minded about other people.

    I'm no relationship expert, so my advice probably isn't all that great, and I'm sorry for that. Maybe you just need to focus on other parts of your life for now, like your career & friends & family. You don't need a partner to make you who you are or to make you feel wanted. If he's moved on and left you behind, then perhaps it's time you tried to do the same, though it's of course not that easy. :(

    Keep safe love, and hang in there. I'm here if you need to talk about any of the things you're going through with these feelings. I can definately relate. :hug:
     
  3. KittyGirl

    KittyGirl Well-Known Member

    Thanks, Avarice.
    I do keep trying but it's still so hard-- even after 8 months, I still feel the exact same as I did when he first broke up with me.
    We were together for so long... everyone we knew was so sure that it was right- we never fought; I didn't even know that he didn't love me anymore.

    It's really not fair that I can't let go of him... and I can't think of anyone or anything else.