I'm laying in bed right now, I was rubbing my hip like I usually do as it hurts often. I don't even think about the pain anymore, just a thing I do, I felt a scab, began picking it then remembered what I did and have the sudden urge to slice myself up . I'm not unhappy, stressed or even down, just want to cut. I'm guessing it isn't uncommon, but it feels strange. It feels strange to me. I'm writing this instead of doing it. I don't even feel ashamed. I guess I'm going to try to sleep now. I'm not alone, so I don't think I could outlast him in the staying awake so I could without getting caught. I'm not frightened, revulsed, just confused I guess. I don't understand why the urge is there. Well, good night sweetnesses of SF, see you in the morning.