1. This site uses cookies. By continuing to use this site, you are agreeing to our use of cookies. Learn More.

Don't feel comfortable with the doctor

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by Molii, Mar 21, 2014.

Thread Status:
Not open for further replies.
  1. Molii

    Molii Member

    I went to the doctor cuz I wanted to find away to end this feelings I have
    first of all he was late for like 60 minutes for my appointment.
    I didn't feel comfortable when I saw him; and when I talked to him he even talked more than Me!!
    It took him less than 20 minutes to tell me that I'm having depression, and gave me a precription, I don't know If I should take the drugs he mentioned & If I should go there another time !?
    one last thing someone phoned him and told him that one of his patients had commited suicide and didn't show any feeling of mercy, he was like yeah so what !!
  2. jimk

    jimk Staff Alumni

    Moll, glad you did go but really sorry doc seems to be a slob..at best..lol might be good to maybe try and get a replacement doc and try again.. Would be great to get a good doc.. Can really help moll..

    In the meantime might be good to google.com the meds you were given..also posting with a few questions about these meds here on the website might get some good feedback from others that have used these meds..

    Take care Moll.. Don't become a stranger please..jim
  3. meaningless-vessel

    meaningless-vessel Well-Known Member

    What can anyone truly do in the position of being told about a suicide?Be upset or realise that other lives still go on?

    Most docs will try anti-depressants in the initial depression diagnosis - it's their first point of call. Then if other things happen they will look furtheer into it. I don't quite believe they should talk more than the patient but it depends what was said.

    If you really aren't happy about it - maybe book up an appt with another doctor for a second opinion.
  4. scaryforest

    scaryforest Banned Member

    cold professional attitude there.
    a lot are like that.

    how did you get this doc to begin with?
    can you get another
  5. Molii

    Molii Member

    I googled for some doctors, & been told he's good.
    I'll try to do more search nxt time
    but I realy feel disappointed, I'll take some time to see another doctor.
  6. scaryforest

    scaryforest Banned Member

    or maybe you caught him on an off day, only human after all...
  7. Molii

    Molii Member

    IDK, but I don't feel comfortable with him, and I'm not goin' to the appointment nxt time.
  8. scaryforest

    scaryforest Banned Member

    fair dos. hope you find a new one and a better one as and when!
  9. Freya

    Freya Loves SF Staff Member ADMIN SF Author

    In the UK 20 minutes is literally twice as long as a doctor normally spends with a patient at an appointment. It is their job to make a fast assessment and offer a treatment option. I am sorry that talking to your doctor was uncomfortable but I am unsure that anyone feels comfortable the first time they talk to a complete stranger about their depression; I wouldn't necessarily presume that was anything to with him as much as the situation. The fact that he spent twice as long talking to you than the normal length of an appointment suggests to me that he less abrupt/efficiency driven than most UK GPs - and likely why he was 60 minutes late with your appointment if he is talking to lots of his patients for longer than the time the NHS allots to an appointment).

    The fact that he didn't respond really when someone called him to tell him that one of his patients committed suicide... well first off that is a really weird "story" to have "heard" about a doctor - it isn't anyone's business and people gossiping about that kind of thing rarely have good intentions... and secondly, if this even happened (and I would take this piece of hearsay with a pinch of salt) sounds to me like he was simply being professional and respecting his patient/doctor relationship by not talking about it. You have no idea what he might have felt or not felt underneath the professional veneer.

    All in all, the decision to not take the drugs he prescribed or go to a follow up appointment based on feeling uncomfortable in an uncomfortable situation and gossip/hearsay about him not being emotional about a patient seems a little hasty. No other UK GP is going to spend more than 20 minutes with you before prescribing probably a very similar anti-depressant. GPs are there to assess, prescribe (either meds or other intervention) and move on. If you want someone to discuss your feelings with it might be worth asking for a referral to a counselling/therapy service instead.

    I hope you give the meds a shot - and if they don't work talk to your doctor and get different - but you never know until you try. Good luck and stay safe :hug:
  10. Molii

    Molii Member

    I pay for him to listen to me, I know I need a medication to feel better but I also need someone to listen to me, I need someone to help me to control my life.
    I live in jordan, and some ppl told me that at least my first appointment will take 30 minutes.
    I don't have anyone to talk to that's why I want to talk more with my doctor, specialy that my family have no Idea about what's going on with me.
    I'll try to find another doctor and I'll maje sure to get as much info about him as I can to make sure I'm safe.
  11. Freya

    Freya Loves SF Staff Member ADMIN SF Author

    Apologies - I read the location line of scary forest instead of you - entirely my fault. I will reset in my head for Jordan instead of the UK.

    If you need someone to listen to you and to help you control your life (valid needs) then I do think you need to ask to see a therapist or mental health professional; here you would ask your general doctor to refer you. When you say doctor are you talking about a general medical doctor or are you speaking specifically about a psych/mental health doctor?

    If you post what meds you were given (if you feel comfortable with that) there are probably people here who can give you some feedback on if they have experiences with them and that maybe can help you decide whether to take them.

    Its good you are going to look for another doctor and not just give up.
  12. Molii

    Molii Member

    It's a mental health private clinic
    I'll post the meds I've been given if it'll help
  13. Freya

    Freya Loves SF Staff Member ADMIN SF Author

    Often people here have used/tried meds and can give some insight; I just thought it might be helpful if you have doubts about the meds to see if anyone else has ever used them.
  14. MisterBGone

    MisterBGone Well-Known Member

    I'm sorry to hear about one of your parents. I don't know what I'd do if I were you... A lot of doctors are not that good at communicating with patients, because their specialty is more in the scientific (medical) realm. Plus, being human, they are susceptible to all of the same biases that exist with everybody else in society. That is to say--they can already have formed rather negative opinions and views with regards the mentally ill. But I'm not sure if that's what happened to you. Either way, I hope your next new experience is a billion times better! Best of luck to you-
  15. AnaNg

    AnaNg Antiquities Friend

    My thoughts:

    * A doctor who is 60 minutes late for an appointment better have a really good reason and be prepared to explain himself. You have a right to an explanation as to why he was so late.
    * Talking more than your patient, especially for a first visit, is also not a good thing, so I'm not surprised you didn't feel comfortable with him. That said, if you weren't very talkative, his excessive talking may have been an attempt to better understand what is going on with you or to help draw you out a little more.
    * If he's a psychiatrist, he knows what depression looks like and a wide variety of medications that are within the normal protocols for treating depression. Any psychiatrist worth his degree should, if the patient is honest with him about his/her symptoms, be able to diagnose depression. Also, most psychiatrists don't really do talk therapy. I know you said you're in Jordan, so perhaps it's different there, but in the US (and most other countries I'm familiar with) the psychiatrist's job is to manage medication. Talk therapy is something that a psychologist, therapist, or social worker would do. That's the place to go in and talk about the things that are on your mind.
    * As others have said, if one of his patients had committed suicide, unless he's a completely unfeeling piece of dirt, I guarantee he probably felt terrible about it. If it appeared that he didn't care, it may have been his way of trying not to show his distress to you and maybe trigger you. Mental health professionals deal with people who are suicidal every day and many of them have had patients commit suicide. There is a certain level of professional detachment they have to have for their own mental health, but I know my therapist once mentioned that he'd had a patient who committed suicide. He said that while it definitely bothered him, he came to the understanding that there was nothing he could have done to prevent it. It was sad and he felt bad for the family, but it didn't cause him to go into a spiral of his own. I know my therapist well enough to know that if he'd gotten that call while with another patient, he would have probably taken a deep breath and put it to the side for the benefit of the patient sitting across from him. In your situation, it really wouldn't have been fair to you if the doctor had broken down in tears or in some other way disrupted your appointment with his own feelings about this. He's the one getting paid by you to listen to you, give you a diagnosis, and try to help you in whatever way he is able.
    * As for taking the drugs, it can't hurt anything and it might help. As others have said, do some research online. Wikipedia is a good place to start for basic information. You can also find websites where others have shared their experiences with the drugs he's prescribed and of course, you can always post here too.

    I hope this helps some. I would also encourage you to at least give this doctor another shot. He may have been having an off day. Like the rest of us, he's only human. Please keep posting here. This place is a great support for lots of people, especially as we navigate the often frustrating world of "getting help." (((((hugs))))))

Thread Status:
Not open for further replies.