I recently lost someone close to s, and it's my fault. I wasn't there. Wasn't supportive enough. I didn't try hard as I could have. Just lots of things. I miss them every day. I tried too but failed. Wish it had been me instead. I haven't been able to get and hold down a steady job in my entire life. Have too much ptsd, panic, anxiety stuff. Not that I could even if those disappeared. Don't have a higher education. I don't even have my driver's license anymore, and I don't have a birth certificate or ss card to get a replacement. I don't know how else you can here, and if I'm being completely honest with myself, as much as it scares the hell out of me, I'm not sure I want to. Anyway, that's some of what's been on my mind lately. Don't know what else I can do.