Don't give me that

[Jess]

Seriously. Don't give me that bullshit.

If you're not going to be there.. dont' tell me you'll be there. If you don't really care.. don't tell me that. I'd rather hear the cold hard truth than find out later that it was some cold hearted bullshit lie. One pain is less than the other. Don't pretend to be something you're not to me. Don't say you're my friend and ignore me later on when things get rough.. that's not a friend. Don't tell me you want to get to know me and all that unless you truly do. God, I have enough trouble with people who actually do want to be my friends.. and people wonder why?? :dry: :sad:

Just don't bullshit me.. I've been bullshit enough to smell it a mile away... and when I don't.. it hurts all the more. Don't do it to me. Don't be another one to do this to me. I don't need that.

 

[Abacus21]

What's up Jess? :hug:

I *am* here for you make no mistake about that :hug:

 

[Terry]

Jess :sad:

 

[Jess]

I'm sorry for this one. but I'm really sick of people giving me the same lines over and over. about how they'll be there, they want to be there for me during this hard time.. and the very next day I look for someone and no one's there. I know I'm a pain in the ass (x10!) I totally understand the fact that it's easier to turn away.. but don't tell me you'll be there THEN go do that.. that just makes it worse

I'm really sorry for being so mean.. I'm just mad.

 

[Terry]

Well I werent there last night cos had a crisis, sorry hun didnt mean to let you down :sad:

 

[Jess]

No, Terry, I'm not talking about you here. Don't be sorry. Please don't feel bad at all!

This is why I shoudl fucking keep my mouth shut. Everytime I open it (or write in this case) I hurt people. What the fuck is wrong with me.

I should just.... nevermind. Forget it.

Will a mod please delete this?

I don't deserve to even take up space here. I don't deserve the air I breathe. I don't deserve the space I take up on this planet. :wallbash:

fucker...... ahhhg. :cry: I can't keep doing this. Why won't anyone just let me go? you get mad at me, lie to me, hurt me, ignore me, make me feel like a worthless piece of shit that I am.. yet you make me feel guilty about leaving! ahhhg. YOU!!!!

None of t his is towards you terry. please believe me on that if nothing else.

 

[Terry]

Awww hun, wasnt having a go, was just explaining where I was. no way do I want you feeling bad about what I said..ya silly sausage :biggrin: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug:

 

[Marshmallow]

Im not sure who this is aimed at, if its aimed at me then tell me. All that stuff i said around christmas time i meant. If you feel rough then talk to me. I really sorry i couldn't be there for you the last few days, there are reasons behind that, i've had to talk someone out of suicide past few days and i've not been getting much sleep. Call it paranoia or what you like but if this IS aimed at me then tell me ok? if not then you know what i am if you ever wanna talk.

 

[~CazzaAngel~]

Hun, I am sorry that someone was hurtful and misleading. I know how bad it hurts and I am so sorry someone did that to you. And all the times I offered to tlk to you.....I was serious about that and I know I don't know you well, but never the less I still care for you hun, and my heart honestly goes out to you. Plusssss.. you have ya cupcake right here for you! And ya puddin' loves ya too!



:hug: :hug: :hug:

 

[Jess]

No, it's not aimed at you either vikki. If it's aimed at someone I'm sure they will know by now. It should be obvious to them. But then again it might not. Maybe I'm wasting my time.

Why bother right? If they don't why should I?

Fuck it.

 

[~CazzaAngel~]

Hun, I am sorry that someone was hurtful and misleading. I know how bad it hurts and I am so sorry someone did that to you. And all the times I offered to tlk to you.....I was serious about that and I know I don't know you well, but never the less I still care for you hun, and my heart honestly goes out to you. Plusssss.. you have ya cupcake right here for you! And ya puddin' loves ya too!



:hug: :hug: :hug:

Don't waste your pain on it. You are a good person and all of the above applies..

 

[Jess]

Thanks Carolyn.

Just forget it.

I'm nothing. I mean nothing, I do nothing but bad things, painful things.

I'm just sick of it. If I wanted to feel more like dirt I'd give my mom a call.

Why do people have to lie so much? Why do they have to hurt? What the hell did I do to deserve this? I realize I do but am I that much of shit to not deserve a reason for the pain?


AHHHG. why dont I just give up already. Stop writing. stop breathing. stop caring. stop trying.

Is it that hard to stand behind your word?! people talk such bullshit!