dont know anymore

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by morning rush, Jun 29, 2009.

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  1. morning rush

    morning rush Well-Known Member

    I'm not doing well at all today and I'm wondering if it's because tomorrow I'll have to go out to pay bills and do grocery shopping. Maybe I'm so anxious that it makes me feel dissociated...

    And its not like I have friends to talk to about this, I tried with my friend but she's never there when I need her. But if I weren't there for her when she wasnt feeling good, all hell breaks loose...

    I think I'm better off dead....

    ps: I never know what title to put on these messages...and sometimes I feel guilty for posting them...
     
  2. DarkenedAsylum

    DarkenedAsylum New Member

    I feel your pain. I was feeling pretty down the past week an asked a buddy of mine to just go see a movie with me. His response? I'm sorry I can't be there for you.....I have my own issues. I guess its too inconvenient for him.

    I was the only person there for him when he was going through his tough times. Serves me right I guess. I'm sorry that she's not there for you....if I was your friend you could talk to me about anything
     
  3. Petal

    Petal SF dreamer Staff Alumni SF Supporter

    I can totally relate to your post. I hate going outside even if it's only to the shop next door lol! Are you on any medication to help your anxiety? Have you told your doctor about this? You need to talk to someone,anyone. Just don't try and deal with it alone.
    I have no friends either, feel free to PM me anytime :)
     
  4. LenaLunacy

    LenaLunacy Well-Known Member

    We're here for you and we will listen and help. And many of us here can relate to how your feeling, so don't think your alone because you are not alone here. I would advise talking to your doctor about your anxiety as DaisyChain said, they might be able to give you advice or meds to deal with it and help you live your life. And never feel guilty for posting here, we all care and want to help.
     
  5. Stranger1

    Stranger1 Forum Buddy & Antiquities Friend

    I know exactly how you feel because I am an isolationist.. Thru therapy I have learned how to get out of the house a little..I do everything first thing in the morning...If I go somewhere and my anxiety gets to bad I come home until I calm down and then I go back to where I had the attack.. That is an important step because you are defeating the negative thought..If your not seeing a therapist you might want to think about it..They do help...
     
  6. shades

    shades Staff Alumni

    I'm sorry you're not doing well today. Maybe think about something to write while you're out. You are so talented.
     
  7. morning rush

    morning rush Well-Known Member

    I went out today and was actually fine. I only went grocery shopping though and tomorrow I'll try and go to the bank.

    The thing is I wasnt always like this, since I've been taking meds I started to not go out and recently this year, I've been staying at home most of the time. I think I get stressed so much that it hurts and the pain is unbearable so it makes me want to die. I never made the connection before.

    As for therapy, I've been in therapy since I was 15 and now I dunno, part of me wants to get help and another part of me is too tired for help...

    thank you for responding to this thread, I don't feel so alone anymore...

    It's hard to explain this to people who don't know what it feels like...I get loads of panic attacks and if you've never experience that or have family that's got it...people tend to judge...
     
  8. LenaLunacy

    LenaLunacy Well-Known Member

    Glad to hear you got out today. Even if it's only a small trip it's a good positive step :)
    If your worried that the meds are causing you to feel this way then perhaps you should talk to your gp about changing meds, say you're not content with how they're making you feel.
    I know how panic attacks feel, recently i've been having terrible nightmares, and everytime i have one i wind up having a panic attack. It's a horrible feeling. :hug:
     
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