Hi everyone. I was googling stuff about suicide, and somehow I ended up here. Perhaps it's fate. I'm going to be 28 soon, and I have nothing to show for it. I mostly feel worthless, like I'm more valuable to people by being invisible. Unfortunately, I can't be invisible. People are required to have jobs, places to live, etc. I seem to fail at life a whole lot, which is sad because I had so much promise as a child. I was valedictorian of my high school, etc. Now, I can't even work at McDonald's. It was hard! I had my first day yesterday, and they put me on the cash register to shadow, and I couldn't even take that! There was too much hustle; my head was swimming. I'm really here because I have severe anxiety, but I have no idea how to treat it. Being depressed about my anxiety for so many years has made me a recluse. I tend to quit things. I'm a year away from getting my Bachelor's degree, but I honestly don't think it's going to happen. I have to do this major biology research project, and I have no idea where to begin. Other people's projects had some horrible ethics, and these people are going to be biologists, while I cannot. I've become very pessimistic about how the world works; it makes me think I do not belong. My fiance left me a while ago. He's dating a really mean girl who recently trolled my online journal calling me a *****, etc. I didn't know my ex-fiance (and best friend) could love someone who would intentionally hurt someone else that way, someone she didn't even know. Yes, I cheated on him, I regret it, and I want him back, but he's not coming back. He got fed up with me making mistakes, and now I get to feel worthless because our 5 year relationship wasn't worth the work or upkeep. Anyway, I'm here now. I keep putting off doing harm to myself for whatever reason... I don't really know why. My ultimate goal is to make a difference somewhere, doing something and being good at it. As of yet, I don't know what that will be. For now, life is hard and lonely. Thanks for allowing me to be a part of this group.