i really dont think i can do this anymore,
This whole week has just been horrible. Wednesday i went to hospital and got released a few hours later cause i managed to convince the psychiatrist i would be alright.
Then yesterday i was held in the counsellors building for something like 7 hours before i was permitted to go home because they didnt want to send me to hospital and i couldnt be trusted by myself. I finally was allowed to go home so long as dad constantly was watching me and what not, though the second i got home he spazzed it at me and kicked me out. Called the counsellor said i was being horrible as always and to just send me to hospital. To be honest im over it
Everything is just going wrong. People keep saying that they are doing this because they care but i dont know, they are doing it because they dont want to feel bad if i died, not because they care.
And now i was going through things on the internet about ways i could end it all and found one thing that i can get my hands on within minutes and it would be sure to work because it plays on an already existing problem. I dont think ive been happier about anything for so long, but i dont know. Why am i still here instead of going to get it?????
because i cant be bothered to attempt and wake up feeling that bad again. But i guess its worth a shot hey :dunno:
This whole week has just been horrible. Wednesday i went to hospital and got released a few hours later cause i managed to convince the psychiatrist i would be alright.
Then yesterday i was held in the counsellors building for something like 7 hours before i was permitted to go home because they didnt want to send me to hospital and i couldnt be trusted by myself. I finally was allowed to go home so long as dad constantly was watching me and what not, though the second i got home he spazzed it at me and kicked me out. Called the counsellor said i was being horrible as always and to just send me to hospital. To be honest im over it
Everything is just going wrong. People keep saying that they are doing this because they care but i dont know, they are doing it because they dont want to feel bad if i died, not because they care.
And now i was going through things on the internet about ways i could end it all and found one thing that i can get my hands on within minutes and it would be sure to work because it plays on an already existing problem. I dont think ive been happier about anything for so long, but i dont know. Why am i still here instead of going to get it?????
because i cant be bothered to attempt and wake up feeling that bad again. But i guess its worth a shot hey :dunno: