Don't know how much longer ....

Discussion in 'Help Me! I Need to Talk to Someone.' started by Invisible Child, Jul 19, 2014.

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  1. Invisible Child

    Invisible Child Antiquities Friend

    that I can hang on. I'm so tired and starting to feel dead. I should be happy because I finally have a job again but I'm not and everything is just crashing down around me. I woke up in a fowl mood today and it has only gone down hill since. Having a hard time even sitting in chat today because it seems like even innocent little comments are triggering horrible thoughts, feelings and self harm issues. I don't want to fight this fight anymore. I feel worthless, like no one cares, no one would miss me, dirty because of flashbacks and memories, I just don't know how much longer I can continue fighting a battle that I lost many years ago.

    I just want to not deal anymore, i want to put my plan into action and not have to feel anything anymore. Tonight would be a good night for that because I am alone and will be until tomorrow afternoon. Who would even notice, who would miss me? No one. I am forever going to be alone both in the time that I have left on this planet as well as after I am gone. At least then I hope to be with two people that I love and miss so much, I know they loved me but were taken from me. This thing we call life sucks and I'm done caring, done trying, and done hurting. I can't do this anymore.
  2. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    YOu are still here so you have won that battle ok and you woke up fowl well maybe tomorrow you will wake up in a better mood you reached out here keep reaching out ok keep the fight up if you cannot do it on your own then reach out to some professional help hugs
  3. pisces1

    pisces1 Well-Known Member

    have Ptsd also, an I am about your age. There have been times, even recently, I have felt exactly the way you are feeling right now. The feelings seem to come and go, so I know they will pass. It dose seem like a never ending struggle, but it dose get better with the professional help. Are you seeing a doctor ? Please hang in there. You are not worthless. You are loved and cared about and needed by many.
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