Don't know how to ask for help

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by srhk24, Feb 27, 2011.

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  1. srhk24

    srhk24 Member

    Hi, so I am a college student with severe anxiety and depression problems. I am aware that my thoughts are not normal but I really don't know how to ask for help. My college has a counseling center but whenever I think about calling I get so nervous and cannot do it. I have a friend who I'm sure would be glad to listen to me but I just can't talk to her about serious stuff- it just makes me really anxious. Does anyone have any suggestions of how I could start to get some help (maybe without triggering the anxiety)?
  2. black_rose_99

    black_rose_99 Well-Known Member

    Hi srhk24, and welcome! :)

    I understand exactly how you feel as I find it hard to make the first step too.

    Some things that have either worked for me or worked for others are:

    * write down how you feel, in a letter or in dot points, or even in a thread online here, print it off and go to the counselling centre and hand it to them.

    * tell your friend that you think might listen some of the things you think you can tell her, then ask her if she can help you make the first move - she might be able to call the centre on your behalf, or go with you to a doctors appointment (even if she just comes to the waiting room and not into the office, she'll have at least given you some support to get there!) You could also write down what you want to tell your friend and either have her read it, or ask her to take it with you to the counselling centre

    * I recently found a website that I read through and could then contact to receive counselling. I could not, for the life of me, pick up the phone and call them. But they had an online "contact us" link, so I put my details in there and waited for them to call me. That way, the stress of me calling wasn't there, and when they called back all I had to do was really answer their questions to get through to the next step

    Mostly my experiences have been positive (although frustrating at times with waiting lists etc) but everyone I have encountered so far has been really nice to me and will help arrange things around my own insecurities and my own timetables.

    Once you get through the first step and have asked for help, things will seem a lot less scary. So take a deep breath, or ten, and hopefully some of these suggestions can work for you without triggering anxiety

    Good luck and my thoughts are with you!
  3. contemplative

    contemplative Member

    well, I'm a college student with the same problem. And I went several times to my college's counseling center. I left each time cuz I got nervous or felt silly. Finally, last week,i did it. Because I knew that it HAD to be done. It HAD to happen for my friends' sakes. It's hard for me to talk to people about it too because I don't know how to explain it so they understand.
    You gotta go to the counseling center and just make that appointment. For yourself. For your friend. For me, just knowing that If I did it, my life would get better and my friends could be happier too. Just do it. Let things run their course.
  4. Cerulean

    Cerulean Member


    It might be easier to write to your friend, either a note to give to them or via email. Even if a simple note saying there's something important you want to talk to them about. Might be something to consider.

    The counselling you just have to go for. Is there the option to walk in and book an appointment in person? Personally I'd find that easier than calling, maybe you're the same, or find an email address to email asking for an appointment or asking for them to call you maybe.
    There is also the possibilty of asking you're friend to help you call (that's what I did)

    Both might cause anxious feelings, but remember that those feelings won't last and ultimately talking to these people about it all should help to decrease the anxiety.

    Good luck with it.
  5. GoldenPsych

    GoldenPsych Well-Known Member

    I understand about it being hard to ask for help. I do and I don't (ask for help, it seems as though it's at the wrong times).

    Book an appointment with your general doctor. Write down a list of what you have been feeling and give him that when you go in. That way you don't have to worry about saying what you want to say as you have written it down. Unfortunatly there is not much way you can avoid the anxiety that comes with it as anxiety is part of normal life but it should help lessen it to a more manageable level.
    Once you have made that first step then things should become a lot easier. Take baby steps and do one thing at a time. That way once you have completed a task you will feel better for it and it will have given you some confidence so that you can move on to the next one.

    Good luck

  6. Ushee

    Ushee Member

    You're better off than me at the moment

    I'm sitting here crying and shaking and I told my father I need help, that I should be able to handle this but I can't. All he does is ask "Do you want to see someone?" Then just walks away leaving me like this.

    I feel like such a worthless person
  7. srhk24

    srhk24 Member

    thank you for all the responses - I like the idea of writing stuff down and think I will try it
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