Like most people in the world I grew up wanting to achieve. To find a career, find a woman, start a family and and live a happy life. I expected hindrances, but not walls. Genetics is a heartless bitch... It is because of genetics that I never got a fair chance. It is because of the lack of athletic genetics that I never got a chance. If you are a male, you grow up judged by your athleticism. If you are an athlete, people love you. The other children follow your lead. The authority figures protect you... or let you be evil. Because I wasn't I was the target of bullying every fucking place I went. I would say the biggest lesson I learned in my childhood was how people like Hitler can become leaders. Because people will side with him if they see one fucking gentic trait they like. I was constantly put down my whole life... and because of it I am hopeless. I will never be comfortable in a social situation. That fucking bully was always popular everwhere he goes, despite being cut from the same mold as Adolf Hitler or Osama Bin Laden. I will never be comfortable around pretty girls... while he was genetically blessed with everything needed to impress them. Worst of all... IS I am going to be a leech. I am stupid... probably bottom 10% of the world as far as intelegence goes. Probably in the bottom 5 if you remove those with severe disabilities. My ceiling appears to be the very jobs I spent my life working my ass off to avoid... But as always I have to work 3x as hard to accomplish half as much as anyone... what fucking kind of life is that if I dont' get the time to enjoy anything? There is only so much hard work can do if you just aren't genetically blessed with any talent. I was called stupid my whole damned life... I have proven them right. I was called a loser my whole damned life... I have proven them right despite my best efforts. Whatever controls genetics... be it god or randomness decided to give a freaking hitler reincarnation everything that should have gone to a good person. And he beat the shit out of me mentally and attacked my physically at one point. My own fucking family knows I am a failure... I have no hope... I don't know how long I can hold on for others knowing all my won dremas are dead. A man does not leech off of his family... he provides. A man does not fail constantly... he rises above challenges. A man does not withdrawl he fights. A man rises... and learns over time. I am never going to be a man.