I've had suicidal thoughts for years now but they just keep getting worse and worse. I try to talk to people but they never take me seriously at all. What am I supposed to do when no one wants to help me? I read things online that say suicide isn't the answer but I don't see why not. It will just make everything go away. I can't live at a place where I constantly am yelled at. I am a twin but I'm always treated as the lesser child, the one that no one cares about or loves. I feel like this makes me seek love from guys but how many do I need until I can be happy? It never truly makes me happy. I feel like I'm living a lie, always trying to be a different kind of person so that maybe people will like and accept me. I can never be myself. On top of all of my depressed feelings I also have health problems where I have to be on a blood thinner for the rest of my life. Constant blood work and feeling sick is wearing on me. I'm 22, I barely have friends but I can't even drink and try to meet people like normal people do. I don't know, I'm sorry for this rant. I just don't know how to feel better.