I do it to myself too often. I always do things that ultimately just hurt me. I know I shouldn't. I know it's bad but I can't help myself. It's like an itch I have to scratch, like a drug I can't live without. I wish I could I could erase all these thoughts and feelings with a bullet. Not to end my life, but rather to end pain and suffering. These memories are the bane of my existence. I don't want to hurt anymore.