except to care for my dogs. my kids are old enough to fend for themselves but the dogs cannot. they depend on me and i'm a hopeless alcoholic loser and the only thing i can do right is take care of my dogs, no matter how drunk i am. they are all i care for in this life. i'm suppsed to go to rahbe thoday but haven't heard from them yet and am afraid i'll have to await another interminalbe day. i wish god would ljust let me die and be done with it.