My ex-wife has recently started playing "visitation" games with respect to my son. During her time with him, she will offer to let me see him. Then she will jerk him away. I guess what concerns me is that I am not getting upset, I'm not crying or depressed. I just feel numb. Sometimes it's like all I can do is keep working. It's like I am too afraid to even acknowledge the pain anymore. I just don't feel anything. (Very) occasionally I do feel on top of the world (like when my son is with me), but mostly I'm just "there". I don't have any clue (except maybe for God) why I even keep going. It seems so pointless, and yet somehow I do. Why?