This issue isn't really related to attractiveness as such, at least not directly. I have my days where my face just seems to be melting in the mirror and I feel awful, but mostly, I've made good progress on feeling alright in that department over the past few years. I've come to terms that I'm no Brad Pitt, but I look okay.
The problem I have is that I feel people are uncomfortable around me because of the way I look. I'm a big guy, I often wear dark clothes (just about the only thing I feel comfortable in), bags under my eyes due to lack of sleep, resting serial killer face (yeah, before you say it, even when I try to smile, I just end up looking like a maniac). I often get mean looks on the street, that or people avoid looking at me a lot.
I remember last year, I had an incident where I was walking home from classes, heard someone ring the bell on their bicycle behind me, looked over my shoulder and made accidental eye contact with this girl. Just for a split second, didn't check her out or make a face or anything. And she literally RAN off. And this was like 5 PM at the latest, during a busy time when a ton of other students were walking home. Continued home, sat down at the table with my flatmates, told them the story, half laughing it off, and they're reaction was basically "Well yeah, you're a scary guy mate". I've also had cases of teenagers and other students walking past me, and hearing them whisper things like "that guy is weird". My upstairs neighbors seem terrified of me, for whatever reason, even though I've never had a conversation with them, and they always seem very nervous saying hello to me. I've even had a few friends outright confess that they were intimidated by me at first, until they got to know me.
As someone who has social anxiety and already struggles with social interaction, I've felt it add an extra layer of difficulty. I have to be extra to not come off as creepy or hostile in any way, and it really doesn't help having that in the back of my head. I basically don't even bother talking to women unless I know them, the rare cases where they talk to me first, or if it's a very non-threatening context where there's little reason for them to believe I might be hitting on them or something. I know the fact that I'm scared of it probably doesn't do me any favours, and is making it worse since I can't relax, but it's hard to ignore.
I don't really know what the point of typing that out was, but... it's a weird thing I've been dealing with and I'm not sure what to do, or if anyone can relate.
The problem I have is that I feel people are uncomfortable around me because of the way I look. I'm a big guy, I often wear dark clothes (just about the only thing I feel comfortable in), bags under my eyes due to lack of sleep, resting serial killer face (yeah, before you say it, even when I try to smile, I just end up looking like a maniac). I often get mean looks on the street, that or people avoid looking at me a lot.
I remember last year, I had an incident where I was walking home from classes, heard someone ring the bell on their bicycle behind me, looked over my shoulder and made accidental eye contact with this girl. Just for a split second, didn't check her out or make a face or anything. And she literally RAN off. And this was like 5 PM at the latest, during a busy time when a ton of other students were walking home. Continued home, sat down at the table with my flatmates, told them the story, half laughing it off, and they're reaction was basically "Well yeah, you're a scary guy mate". I've also had cases of teenagers and other students walking past me, and hearing them whisper things like "that guy is weird". My upstairs neighbors seem terrified of me, for whatever reason, even though I've never had a conversation with them, and they always seem very nervous saying hello to me. I've even had a few friends outright confess that they were intimidated by me at first, until they got to know me.
As someone who has social anxiety and already struggles with social interaction, I've felt it add an extra layer of difficulty. I have to be extra to not come off as creepy or hostile in any way, and it really doesn't help having that in the back of my head. I basically don't even bother talking to women unless I know them, the rare cases where they talk to me first, or if it's a very non-threatening context where there's little reason for them to believe I might be hitting on them or something. I know the fact that I'm scared of it probably doesn't do me any favours, and is making it worse since I can't relax, but it's hard to ignore.
I don't really know what the point of typing that out was, but... it's a weird thing I've been dealing with and I'm not sure what to do, or if anyone can relate.