i have been struggling for so long. making some improvements, then setbacks which seem to me taking 1 step forward, 10 steps backwards. people say it will get better. but will it really? i have been battling depression since i was a teenager, then abusive boyfriend, now PTSD. doesnt seem to be getting better. i am now afraid to leave the house. can barely make it to my counselling appts and this is supposed to be getting better? i woudl hate to see what getting worse looks like. i cant take it anymore. part of me just wants to give up. yet i am still here. why? i dont know. i guess i dont have the courage to actually do it yet. i jsut want the hurting to stop. the internal dialogue that i am not good enough, that i should have died a long time ago is still there though and getting louder and louder.