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Don't know what I'm looking for...

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by KittyGirl, Feb 17, 2010.

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  1. KittyGirl

    KittyGirl Well-Known Member

    It's happening again... I feel like I'm dying.
    My chest hurts so much and I just started crying even though I wasn't even thinking about him. It made me start thinking once I attempted to wipe away the tears.
    8 months seems like too long to me.
    I don't want to be in pain anymore... I don't wanna be lying in bed all day, feeling bad for myself and I keep trying to change- but nothing is helping.
    I know it's supposed to take time, but I want an easy way out for myself.

    I don't even care about what I leave my mom and brother behind with.
    I just wanna stop hurting.

    I don't think there's anything that anyone could say-- but I'm going to try again very soon if this keeps up.
    I feel it coming.
    I've got a bottle in my lap and I don't want to open it up- or... I do... I do, but um... aghh. ><
  2. suzy

    suzy Well-Known Member

    looking for answers

    not that i have answers....

    just try not to harm yourself and leave yourself von-ner-able (sorry cant spell most times and not really when i need to)

    i understand your feelings of this person in your past...and this wanting it to be your present

    but this is your life....not thiers...you are more important than anyone who wouldnt know anything about you for 8 whole months

    you are important is
    really what i only wanted to write...got out of hand my thoughts
    Last edited by a moderator: Feb 17, 2010
  3. Re: looking for answers

    I don't know what he did to you, but know this:

    There are other men out there. I know, I know, it seems impossible right now. But it's true, hun :) You deserve better. He isn't worth your time, sweetheart. And you are giving him 'power' just by thinking about him. He isn't worth your time, your thoughts and you're life. Take it from me. Distract your
  4. Bambi

    Bambi Well-Known Member

    I am not doing so hot myself right now but did want to reach out and say I relate to your pain..I had a bad break up and it took a lot of out of me it really did and I was a complete mess for a while there so please please be gentle with yourself right now..you are raw from the pain and need to heal..give yourself time and throw away the bottle...you deserve a better life and it is out there.
  5. cloud9

    cloud9 Well-Known Member


    Getting over a loss whether its because of someone who passed away or through the end of a relationship can be really tough on anyone. Sometimes it just takes longer for wounds to heal in some people. Everyone is different. You just have to hang on. Eight months can seem like an eternity, but the guy of your dreams could be waiting for you four months from now. Isn't that worth the wait? After all, you never know what the next day may bring right?

    Try to take your mind off your pain. Take up a hobby. Something that really requires your time and energy. I recently took up weightlifting really seriously this past September and it takes a lot of my time. It was a neat way to start talking to new people too and making new friends. It takes 2 hours of my day, six days a week, not including the time I spend researching on this topic. At the very least it keeps my mind off my troubles. Maybe you can start volunteering somewhere? Who knows, you may even meet someone you like through your new found hobby.

    I know I go through spells of wanting to commit suicide, but if all else fails, think of your mom and brother. Thinking on my mom and sis usually stop me. You may have your fights, arguments etc.. Maybe you don't talk to each other at all, but if you go, they will hurt a lot. They will miss you. Getting over that kind of pain will taken them even longer. I'm not saying that you must endure your pain. The truth is you won't have to endure it forever. Just try to see that , even though it may seem so hopeless at the moment, things will get better in the near future.

    I think I know the feeling where your chest hurts. I find that my chest just feels so darn heavy when I'm depressed. It sucks, but remember its temporary.

    I'm glad you're expressing yourself in SF. We're all here for you when you're feeling down. Believe that you'll get through this. Stay strong. *Hug
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