I'm use to the constant twists that life constantly likes throwing in my face. I've had things go from the absolute pits (broke, about to be homeless) to things practically looking up the next day (great job, more money then I know what to do with); but lately it's just seemed to be a slow decent into nothing again.
I feel like I'm losing my partner, he seem's convinced that he is going to die. This has been an on and off thing for a while now, this is the third time it's become his mantra and I don't know what to do.
I have no money put aside due to the nature of current arrangements. I have no skills to speak of, since he and I work on projects together (his the one with the real skills, I pretty much do nothing though he tries to constantly assure me I do plenty). I can't stay with my dad because of various issues with his partner and I don't think I could live with my mother again because I don't think she'd ever let me live it down, since I've ended up at her place regularly over the last few years as I've had no where else to go.
So I'm just not sure what to do. I hate feeling like this, utterly helpless. I don't know what to do any more, in my mind our future is solid, the cliche have a kid, buy a house, grow old together but I feel like his given up. His not terminally ill, there are just health issues now and then and I try to be as supportive as I can but it scares me so badly that his so convinced his going to drop dead, I feel like his given up and just resigned himself to die and he gets upset at me when I suggest I should make plans... but I'm scared, I don't know what I'm meant to do without him, I don't have anything to fall back on, no money and no home, my worlds falling to pieces again and its made all the more worse because I thought things were getting better, because I saw the light at the end of the tunnel and now it just feels like that light has turned into a f'ing train.
I feel like I'm losing my partner, he seem's convinced that he is going to die. This has been an on and off thing for a while now, this is the third time it's become his mantra and I don't know what to do.
I have no money put aside due to the nature of current arrangements. I have no skills to speak of, since he and I work on projects together (his the one with the real skills, I pretty much do nothing though he tries to constantly assure me I do plenty). I can't stay with my dad because of various issues with his partner and I don't think I could live with my mother again because I don't think she'd ever let me live it down, since I've ended up at her place regularly over the last few years as I've had no where else to go.
So I'm just not sure what to do. I hate feeling like this, utterly helpless. I don't know what to do any more, in my mind our future is solid, the cliche have a kid, buy a house, grow old together but I feel like his given up. His not terminally ill, there are just health issues now and then and I try to be as supportive as I can but it scares me so badly that his so convinced his going to drop dead, I feel like his given up and just resigned himself to die and he gets upset at me when I suggest I should make plans... but I'm scared, I don't know what I'm meant to do without him, I don't have anything to fall back on, no money and no home, my worlds falling to pieces again and its made all the more worse because I thought things were getting better, because I saw the light at the end of the tunnel and now it just feels like that light has turned into a f'ing train.
