Don't know what to do anymore :(

Discussion in 'Help Me! I Need to Talk to Someone.' started by pinkpanther85, Sep 2, 2009.

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  1. pinkpanther85

    pinkpanther85 Member

    My partner and I have pretty much broken up and its turned my world upside down.

    It feels like dejavu because about 4 years ago the same thing happened with another partner - I had a half-arsed suicide attempt but it was really just a cry for help. I always seem to f**k relationships up, and they fail because of me and because of the things I do and don't do.

    I love my partner more than anything in this world, she is everything to me and I foolishly believed we would be together forever (it seemed like the relationship was heading that way). I have destroyed any hope we had of trying to make the relationship work because she thinks i'm crazy (the anxiety and the sadness), and I think she doesn't really want anything to do with me anymore.

    I feel as though I will never be good enough, will never amount to anything decent and will go through life destroying relationship after relationship. If thats all there is to life, whats the point.

    I don't know if I want to die, but I can't live like this. If only they could put me in a drug induced coma for a few months. Why is there nothing in between life and death?
     
  2. WildCherry

    WildCherry Staff Member ADMIN

    I'm really sorry for what you're going through!!

    Have you ever thought about going to see a therapist about the sadness and the anxiety? You might be able to get some treatment so that you start to feel better.

    What makes you so sad? I know right now you're sad about what happened with your partner, but is there more to it?

    Here if you want to talk.
     
  3. -Chris-

    -Chris- Member

    Hi Pink - welcome,

    Since this seems like it's maybe a pattern for you, have you sought out some counseling for it? You mentioned the anxiety and the sadness, but have you talked to someone and sought treatment for it, and if so, have you talked about this relationship issue? It could be you, but maybe it's not and I think it would help for you to talk this out with someone to try and figure out why this seems to keep happening.

    It's good that you seem willing to accept your part in this, that's a great start, and the next step would be trying to figure out how this might be fixed. I know this doesn't help you deal with the pain that you have right now, and I'm sorry you're going through it. Keep writing though, it does help to figure some things out and deal with the loss. I know it's helped me and I hope things get better for you too. Maybe you just need some treatment for the anxiety and the sadness. It's certainly nothing to be ashamed of, and it might be able to really help with your relationships and your life in general.
     
  4. pinkpanther85

    pinkpanther85 Member

    Thanks for your replies :)

    I am on anti-depressants and anti-anxiety meds which are helping to some extent. I'm having counselling too but I think I may go to a pyschologist instead - I haven't really bonded with my counsellor.

    My partner and I had a really long talk yesterday with alot of tears. I have pretty much taken her for granted for the past 8 or so months and haven't treated her very nicely at all. She has done nothing wrong, but I have no idea where the nastiness comes from? I'm not usually like that but I have a feeling its related to low self-esteem and the fact that I feel I need to blame someone for the fact that ive put on so much weight etc unfortunately she cops it.

    So today is a better day :) and I hope it stays that way!
     
  5. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    I hoope you stay well I think talking to your psych is a good move as can help you understand where your anger and pain is coming from. Give you better skills to keep your relationship strong.. Take care and thanks for update
     
  6. yursomedicated

    yursomedicated Chat & Forum Buddy

    Pinkpanther,

    I recently broke up with my boyfriend of almost two years ago. It was my choice but I know he was getting mad at me. We had to break up because of my depression and after almost two years you'd think he would understand.

    My depression and shit has also made me lose a lot of friends.

    Oh, the break up was so bad I started cutting and I even attempted suicide a few times. I know exactly how you feel. It's hard. If you need anything, don't be afraid to ask.
     
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