Don't know what to do anymore.

I started to think I was doing better with my life but mostly with finding motivation and doing things, but now that tests have started at the Uni, I found myself again to be the same person I used to be, this meaning someone that doesn't care at all, won't study I started skipping classes again, well you can imagine the situation.

I really thought I wanted to change and was working for it, but I think is pretty obvious I was just lying to myself, I just don't want to be here anymore. My life could be terrible but it isn't, which just makes it worse since I have no excuse for acting like a 5 year old.
And now I just wish I could take my life to end this stupidity of mine instead of thinking what to do to become a better person.

The problem also resides in the fact that I know what to do, I just apparently have no intentions of moving forward since I don't see why.

 

Sorry to hear of your situation. Finding meaning and going through with doing something difficult is not easy... even if you know 'what has to be done'. I've been there myself. Ultimately, I think only you will be able to find an answer that you will be personally satisfied with. Whenever I've asked myself 'why can't I do it' or 'why am I doing this' I've found that spending time with family and doing things that I enjoy helpful. With that being said, take some time to find yourself and please don't do anything rash. Best wishes :smile:.

 

Welcome, Jadager. :hug: I have never been good at knowing what to say in posts on the forums here, but I can relate to your situation. Very much so. I've been in similar situations when school has begun in August/September over the past few years. Anyways, welcome again. You are in my thoughts. ~ Alex

 

Try to do one thing at a time. You can't change overnight. Stay strong!

 

I really do think you want for things to get better and in time, they will. Few tells us how difficult it can be to learn new, healthier coping skills. University is a big challenge with lots of demands, sometimes conflicting. Maybe your best bet would be to work with a counselor and get you work load diminished to a level you are comfortable with. Its a bit like lifting weight. You'll gain strength and confidence as you see the small victories piling up and be able to move on to bigger challenges. If you take too much on in one shot, you'll take it a a reflexion on your worth and true potential if you dont succeed. All of our life, when we start something new, be a hobby or a career, its all about baby steps. None of us would have learn to walk if our parents had not been supportive, fawn over our first stumbling steps and dry our tears when we fell on our butts. be kind to yourself. hope you'll feel better soon.