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Dont know what to do anymore

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just dont care

Well-Known Member
I just dont know what to do anymore things are going really weird right now i got a good thing that is freaking me out and several bad things going on right now. I am in the middle of a backround check for a job that could be extremely good for me in the future but i am scared that i wont be able to do it right that i will mess up and screw it all up for myself. i got a girl i really really like right now but i havent told her cause i dont know if she feels the same way plus she might be spending some time in jail cause of past mistakes plus she is going through other problems that i want to help her with but i cant because if i help her my parents scold me telling me that i shouldnt be worrying about others when i have so many problems to deal with myself. i am failing at school because i cant do any of the work. its not that i cant do it cause i aint smart enough its just that i cant do it cause i cant start it i try and try but nothing happens and i end up getting mad that i just cant open that damn book or pick up that damn pencil. i want to hang out with my friend but i get yelled at for going out but when i stay home i just feel like i am gonna snap at any moment and start flipping out at my parents. i have no money and i keep borrowing from my parents but everytime i do they make me feel like shit but i guess they should since i am nothing but a damn leech on them. things are just going very crazy and i cant figure out what to do i cant handle things like this much longer i want to end things so badley right now but just like that damn school work i dont think my brain will let me do that at least not untill i just figure out a way to make myself stop thinking and just do it.
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