I don't know what the hell is wrong with me. I have absolutely no control over my moods... I will be happy one second, or at least in a good mood and then one bad thought might enter my mind or some minor little thing might happen and it will just destroy me. That tiny little thing that most people will be like "Oh that sucks" will just flood my mind with more and more stuff that is wrong or that I do wrong and then 5 seconds after being in a good mood I want to kill myself. I HATE being this unstable... I also have the problem with anger, almost every morning my mom comes in my room and starts screaming at me to get up and then I end up getting upset enough that I just say "fuck it" and don't go to school like I'm supposed to... I should be able to just force myself to go but I end up so incredibly angry that I just don't care about the consequences. I haven't been to school since last Monday from that. My emotions control me and I make really impulsive decisions on important things because of it... One moment I will feel this way and then the next that. I'm sure due to this I come off as fake to most of you here. How can anyone be fine here then upset there and then fine again? I wanted to go back to therapy but I don't think I could follow through with it. The first time I would almost always try to get out of going until I finally got to cancel them entirely. I don't know why but I just can't talk about emotions face to face with people, have them staring at me passing judgment. I feel like an absolute fool saying anything about how I feel to one. I just don't know anymore.