Dont Know What To Do

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by WriteEnough, May 2, 2007.

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  1. WriteEnough

    WriteEnough Member

    im sure most people dont know what to do, when something bad happens to them in their life. they may get angry, sad or suicidal.

    i've been like this for awhile. i lost my girlfriend a few months back. and it always haunts me. i still love her very much. i tried changing so i could be best for her. but she doesnt care. which made me sad and suicidal. i tried suicided with no success. i just want to be back with her, which wont happen. and in the mean time, im sad and in a suicidal state. there are some things that are keeping me alive, a few friends and my little sister who is 1 year old.

    i dont know what i want to do. i dropped out of college, because of her, and i might loose my job, since i havent gone in two days, because she promised she would call me. i am pathetic, and i dont know what to do. suicide comes to play, but then, i would hurt everyone, and she wouldnt give a damn...
     
  2. Flight

    Flight Well-Known Member

    Of course. Your world revolves around her. She is the center of your life and she isn't there anymore.

    But look at how much she is hurting you and abusing that high place you have given her. You will say she deserves it, but she is pulling your heart through the mud over and over. Because you love her she is killing you.

    Now is a time more than ever that you have to start finding a reason to live in yourself. Of course you won't see it that way, but start with being angry at her. You have a damn good reason to be.

    You cannot change her, only she can change her feelings for you back to love. But you can change yourself. Don't let her callousness hurt you so much, don't let yourself just fade because of her.

    Eventually... eventually... you will start to forget her. Never completely, but you will be able to be yourself without thinking about her. And then maybe a truly deserving person will come along and love you for who you are.

    First, you have to save yourself. She won't save you.
     
  3. ace

    ace Well-Known Member


    First of all you aren't pathetic you're experiencing the natural symptoms that come with depression.Please take your time and open up to us and try to take it easy we do understand what it's like for you.Don't rush into anything and try to understand that you're feeling down and it's not your fault.Suicide is hard and it's gut wrenching and obviously you're in great pain.

    Don't attempt to do anything drastic please talk to me I'm alway's here for you and try to give yourself time.If you need time away from work try to speak to your boss and allow yourself space to get yourself to get back on track slowly.There's no harm in taking time out for yourself,you will have plenty of support here also.

    I understand that you love your girlfriend so much still and they're your feeling's,you don't have to change for her try to do it for yourself if anything.Try to keep working on the thing's that are making you feeling down in particular and if it's just about your girlfriend it will take time.I know it will be painful and not easy but it will just take time sadly.

    You will become alot stronger in time,try to keep faith with yourself and don't blame yourself for feeling down it's not your fault.
     
  4. WriteEnough

    WriteEnough Member

    thank you so much. it is very hard. i cant really take time off from work, which sucks. i want to get an apartment, and maybe that could help me take care of myself. maybe...
     
  5. Financier

    Financier Member

    I know the feeling you're trying to portray far too well, from experience, unfortunately. I'm going through a remarkably similar experience myself at the time, and it's just as difficult, if not worse than you portray it.

    I think you did amazingly well in finding the 'reason to live' in someone/something other than your ex. I can relate to having a younger relative- my (much) younger sister just had her birthday. Most of the time I can fool myself into thinking that no-one cares about me or that I'm unloved or worthless, but the one thing I can't convince myself is that she doesn't love me, or look up to me, because she doesn't know any better yet really. She's still somewhat young and naive.

    I know exactly how you're feeling. I wish I knew how to help, because I could help us both- but the advice that's helped me the most so far is that love trumps all. Find love again, or try to. At any rate, know that she was the one that left you. Which means she simply couldn't handle you. You could look at it negatively and put a harsh spin on it, but positively thinking- she wasn't able to handle the person you are, the good thing is that there are surely people that will out there. If you suicide; you loose the chance of finding that love forever. If you hang in and try to cope, you stand a chance.

    Every day, think about the routine you follow. For me, it's my coffeehouse around the corner from my home, followed by the drive to the office- all the people I encounter during that small part of my routine, one of those could be the woman I will next love. If I died, I'd never find her.

    Just hang in there, and stay safe.

    C.
     
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