Dont know what to do.....

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by gooberhead, Jul 17, 2007.

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  1. gooberhead

    gooberhead New Member

    This is my first post here.

    Four years ago I tried to commit suicide and failed. And I did get through it and I thought I got myself to a point where I was happy to be alive. But because of a chain of events over the past several months, I think suicide is the best option for me. It will release all the pain and hurt inside me and protect me from any more. I have spent the day searching online looking up the easiest and pain reduced way. I have also been searching within me looking for reasons to live, but my mind keeps going back to a triggering issues that happened today and in the past.

    Because I have been feeling depressed the last several months I have withdrawn myself from social, work and family life. Even my girlfriend (who just broke up with me) seen this and brought it to my attention. But she wanted a break and now wants to cut all ties with me because she feels like she cant be the person for me and is under pressure herself with her own problems.

    I cant speak to my friends about this, because they aren't the sort of friends I feel I could talk to about this. My career is gone to nothing because I couldn't focus. And my family, I am only showing them the tip of the ice berg. Some don't even know there is a problem but others are saying its all in my head. And I don't want them to know because they will try and prevent it from ever coming to the outcome that in my eyes will be best.

    My life has hit rock bottom, I have nothing. And I can see no solution, but I can see a way out. Ending it all! Right now I just don't know what to do. I have it all worked out in my head if I do go do the route of suicide, the time (which will be soon), the letters to family and friends and the method. So in a way I am prepared.... I feel so alone... I don't know what to do... I don't if it is worth fighting... :sad:
  2. Erebos

    Erebos Well-Known Member

    Please consider divulging more to your family. Their simply misunderstanding your situation or simply in denial. They need to realize that this should be taken more seriously, especially if they're aware of your previous attempt. They're likely the best resource for help at the moment.
  3. gentlelady

    gentlelady Staff Alumni

    Please do not make any decisions when you are at rock bottom as you say you are. Depression causes us to think in ways we wouldn't normally think. We do things out of impulse or desparation. It sounds to me as if you want the pain to stop, not necessarily the end of your life. If the pain was gone and the current issues plaguing you diminished, would you still wish death for yourself? You cannot truly make an informed decision when your mind is clouded by depressive thoughts. Please hang in there and see what you can do differently to help change things. Maybe less isolation, sharing with your family, things of this nature. Try and see what happens.
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