Dont Know What To Do!!!

Discussion in 'Help Me! I Need to Talk to Someone.' started by Metallica*Melinda, Jan 3, 2008.

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  1. Metallica*Melinda

    Metallica*Melinda Well-Known Member

    Im crying right now, Im freaking out... I cant take it. I cant breath I cant think... I dont know what to do. I cant get anything right... I cant do this. Im tired of playing this game we call life. Things are just getting really bad. I keep thinking about such horrible things and I want to do it all. I dream about all this sickening stuff that I could do to myself... I dont know what else to do but to do it to myself. I have a bottle of seroquil in my hand and one of those sharp blades that I was talking about before. I want to slice my arms up and then take a bottle of pills like I did b4. The voices and agents are telling me to kill myself. I really thought my new meds would help. I thought they weren't real. but this just proves that they are. And I know the only way to get rid of them is to die. They wont leave me alone...
    Not to mention the problems with my family, that all started over christmas... My mom tried to kill herself after christmas... and shes pregnant.
    My dad called 911 and they put her in the hospital for the night... Shes not doing really well right now and my dads heartbroken... Im scared... so is my sister... I would just love to get rid of all the horrible things that keep happening... I feel like its my fault that my mom got suicidal... because I had a fight with her...
    I DONT KNOW WHAT I CAN DO... So Im sorta in a crisis...
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Jan 3, 2008
  2. Melmoth the Wanderer

    Melmoth the Wanderer Well-Known Member

    Are you alone in the house? If there's a person or a pet with you, go be with them. You don't have to tell them what you're feeling, just be in the same room with them. If you are alone, put the seroquil and blades down and leave the room, or put them in another room and close the door.

    I realize it's probably dark outside, but if it's safe to, go outside for a minute and get some fresh air. Go for a short walk or look at the sky.

    If you have to stay in, make some tea and/or wrap yourself in a blanket. Don't go back into the room with the medicine and blades.

    Sing outloud or listen to music to drown out the voices. Watch a silly movie, even if you're in no mood to laugh.

    If you're up to it, call a suicide hotline and/or continue posting here.

    In any case, try to make it through tonight and call your doctor in the morning, or call tonight if s/he takes emergency phone calls. Get your meds changed or adjusted. There's a very good chance that your current meds or another med will work for you, but it can take some time to get it right.

    Keep trying. You're stronger than you think. :hug:
     
  3. Dave_N

    Dave_N Guest

    Sorry to hear that things are so difficult Melinda. Christmas is supposed to be a nice time of year. Don't listen to those evil voices telling you to kill yourself. They are evil spirits and they want you to suffer. Don't let them win. Fight them will all of your inner strength.
     
  4. Metallica*Melinda

    Metallica*Melinda Well-Known Member

    thanks for the replies... Im feeling a bit better, I did end up slicing my arms up pretty bad... I went to the hospital for the night... my doctor will be seeing me this month...
    Anyway, Im still really worried about my mom... shes shut herself out... and she is really sad... I really am scared that Im going to lose my mom...
     
  5. ~PinkElephants~

    ~PinkElephants~ Senior member

    Melinda
    :hug: I'm really sorry about your mom. I hope she gets some help for her, your families sake and especially the unborn child's sake as well. I'm really sorry you have to go through all this especially round the holidays.
     
  6. 2cents

    2cents Well-Known Member

    hi there melinda,
    i'm reading ur post & i would say that what u r going through at the moment can be too overwhelmed; i'm pondering it again & again of what i'm going to do if i were at your shoes now, simply too much for me..
    will keep u and ur family in my prayer, it's been quite sometimes i never really pray but i will do it after this reply. Hope you can calm ur thoughts down rather than thinking and wasting ur precious energy on hurting urself, channeled it to think of what u can do to make things slightly better perhaps try to visit ur mom & accompany her in the hospital, talk to her, share with her all ur thoughts.
    don't forget to brush ur tooths, it help lighten my feelings most of the time :laugh:
    *hugs
     
  7. Metallica*Melinda

    Metallica*Melinda Well-Known Member

    Thanks for the posts...
    My mom is at home now... she isnt too happy but shes talking to everyone but me... It makes me feel like shit. I feel like Im the reason she tried this... I would love to just make it all better.. but no, she has to hold a fucking grudge... and I really want to talk to her... I want to help her because I know what its like to want to die... I want to tell her that. I really want to be there for her but even my dad cant. We try but the more we try the more she shuts us out...
    I feel like dying, I dont want to live like this...
     
  8. Dave_N

    Dave_N Guest

    Give your mom some time Melinda. She will come around when she's ready. She needs time to heal.
     
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