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Don't know what to do...

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by cult logic, Jan 19, 2009.

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  1. cult logic

    cult logic Staff Alumni

    Alright, I keep getting these panic attacks with the intense urge to kill myself.

    I want help, but if Im honest with therapists I'll be thrown in the hospital.

    If that happens I'll end up failing the term and I'll definately kill myself.

    Seems there is no good option. :(
  2. Petal

    Petal SF dreamer Staff Member Safety & Support SF Supporter

    Hi bcs,

    welcome to SF :)

    Are you taking any medication for your panic attacks?

    You need to be honest with someone, if it's not your therapist then try a helpline. The samaritans are awesome :arms:

    I hope you feel better soon :hug:
  3. Stranger1

    Stranger1 Forum Buddy & Antiquities Friend

    Hey BCS,
    Are you sure your therapist would do that to you? I tell mine everything and as long as I tell her I am not acting on the thoughts she is cool about it. As far as the panic attacks go you need to address them with your shrink. If he won't give you anything then see your regular doctor and tell him you need something to control them. Thats what I had to do. My shrink couldn't provide me with anything for mine because he works for an organization called ACT and they have a strict formulary of meds that they are aloud to prescribe. I did get a letter from him for my regular doctor saying he thought it was a good idea for him to give me something. I hope you understood all that.~Joseph~
  4. cult logic

    cult logic Staff Alumni

    I'm not sure my therapist would do that, but I can't take that chance.

    I talked to m normal doctor, who of course didn't help at all, even if they did the therapist kind of disregards their opinions because they are "unqualified".

    And now I have a project due tomorrow and I can't focus on it because I'm panicking about it.

    Now I'll probably end up failing anyway.
  5. resistance

    resistance Staff Alumni

    If you'll probably end up failing anyway, what have you got to lose? You're feeling rubbish at the moment and admit that you need help, perhaps the best thing you could do, to help yourself feel better, is talk honestly to your therapist. They may not put you into hospital, but in the event that you do, you could very well end up feeling better, and take the term again.

    If you fail the term for whatever reason there are options you can talk... it doesn't need to be the end. Take care of yourself.
  6. cult logic

    cult logic Staff Alumni

    The thing I have to lose is my future.

    If I fail the term I can't take next term's classes, if I can't take the next term's classes I fail the year.

    If I fail the year I can't go to college, effectively destroying all hope that my life will ever improve.

    It seems like an unecessary amount of pain If I had the courage to end it now.

    I'm just afraid that I would survive.
  7. downunder

    downunder Well-Known Member

    BCS, what I do is I tell my therapist a little bit at a time and see how she handles it. Like I told her that I was driving around in my car went back to a spot where I did an attempt, she freaked out and said, "(my name, what do you expect me to think when you tell me things like this), so I know not to tell her about an attempt I did two weeks ago.

    You could maybe say, "I feel really down at times, like I don't want to be here anymore", see what she says to that. It is a softer way of saying "I want to kill myself, and can't wait to go". She may ask if you have a plan.
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