Dont know what to do :(

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by TheOncomingStorm, Mar 8, 2010.

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  1. TheOncomingStorm

    TheOncomingStorm Well-Known Member

    I've been having suicidal feelings for a while now..not constantly but they come and go dependant on what mood i've swung in to.

    I was in hospital last weekend for an OD and for the rest of the duration/ the first few days out I felt fine, however now my mood has crashed again and everythings getting much worse.

    I have nothing thats triggered me to feel this way, other than the usual..but my mood is so low.

    Nothing seems to be working and I just don't know what to do.
    I have my counselling session tomorrow but I can't tell my Counsellor the entire truth about how I feel, i never have been able too.

    Just dont know what to do anymore, i want out. x(
  2. mcviking

    mcviking Well-Known Member

    I am sorry that you are in such pain. Go outside and do some sort of exhausting activity. One mf my favorites back home was getting an axe and going ape shit on a tree in the woods. Go for a run, break some stuff in an alley. Anything that can let out the pain and make feel alive. Another great one is to go somewhere and scream as loud as you can.
  3. TheOncomingStorm

    TheOncomingStorm Well-Known Member

    Thanks for your suggestions, i think ima go for a run :) x
  4. itmahanh

    itmahanh Senior Member & Antiquities Friend

    Hey Lucy I know the feeling. Just recently home from a failed attempt. And yeah kinda hard to be completely up front and detailed with the professionals. The fear of what they may say or suggest.

    I dont know but it's kind of like everyone and everything is trying so hard to find you resources and information while you are there in their care. But once you get home, none of those things seem to apply or work to make things better. It's back to the same garbage you tried to leave behind.

    Why not start a members diary here. You can make it so others can read it (which helps me a lot because then I know someone else sees what I'm feeling and thinking) or you can make a private one ( or both like I've done). Being able to express those things you just cant tell people in RL seems to help quite a bit. Just writing it out here. Or making a thread like you've done so others can try and help and support you. Just putting those words on the pages here so that you know you arent alone with how you think and feel.

    So please keep posting. You might even be able to take a few of the things you write here to discuss with your counsellor or therapist. Sometimes while writing, things come up and out that you didnt even think about. It helps to be able to get them out.

    And yes definitely do something physical. Get out for a long walk. Go kick an empty can around in a back lane. Go throw rocks in a pond or lake or river. If you like noise as a distraction listen to some favorite tunes or go sit in a near by mall or coffee shop. Maybe time to invest in a small punching bag and use it when you become low and depressed.

    Just out of curiousity? Are you on any meds? Have they been reassessed lately? Maybe time for a med change in dose or type. Something you can talk to your therapist about.

    Have you considered a support group. Great place to be with others that have been or are where you are at now. People that understand.

    Look in your telephone book and get the numbers for the local suicide and or crisis help line. Get the numbers for the mental health services in your area. Write them out on a piece of paper that you can carry around in your wallet. Even if you dont use them, it can give you a sense of comfort to know you have them handy just incase you do need them.

    Glad you found this forum. It will atleast give you a place to talk when you cant talk to others about the things in your head. Welcome to SF.
  5. TheOncomingStorm

    TheOncomingStorm Well-Known Member

    I'm sorry to hear that you were in hospital for a failed attempt, and your right - all the information and tips they give you in hospital dont quite have the same meaning when you're out again.

    I think writing the Diary is definitely something that I should try..I write things on Microsoft Word quite abit, but I guess thats not quite the same.

    Nope, im not on any medication. They're trying to get me on fluoxetine but I'm not getting my actual referral to CAMHS for a while now, because in hospital i was classed as 'Mentally stable' But I dont know whether Meds would help me.

    Im not sure about a support group - I'm a very untrusting person when it comes face-to-face contact, and i shut down alot..then theres no getting anything out of me xD, its something my counsellor struggles with alot.

    Thanks for taking the time to writeout your post and for giving me some new ideas
    Take care,
    Lucy x
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