Don't know what to do

Discussion in 'Help Me! I Need to Talk to Someone.' started by scarlet21, Jun 11, 2010.

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  1. scarlet21

    scarlet21 New Member

    Hi everyone,

    Sorry I only kind of skimmed through the faqs and rules and haven't lurked here at all but I'm only here on a whim since I can't figure out what to do.

    I'm in pretty bad shape right now. I've been suicidal for 10 years plus and have already been hospitalized twice. I don't really trust mental health professionals anymore and have very few friends after an incident where they got me hauled off to ER. Anyways this is just background.

    To try and fix things I'm in a different country right now. My local relatives don't know anything about my condition and anyone who does know anything is about 12 hours away by plane. I'm technically here to study but I've basically skipped my second week of classes due to feeling extremely suicidal.

    I've tried to distract myself with hobbies but previous injuries kept flaring up and I'm unable to do anything fun... not that anything has been fun for months. I've gotten diagnoses of major depression which would explain this but unfortunately medication doesn't work for me.

    Anyways, I'm going to have to go on a plane ride to fix a visa issue this weekend and I'm really about as apathetic as can be. If I don't go I'll get kicked out of the country so this is kind of a pressing issue. I think I'd rather die than go. I mean even if I do go, I'll just end up in the same state as before. I don't know, this might sound very weird.

    Is there anything I can do? Should I call my local relatives? They have 2 young kids that don't need to get exposed to this sorta thing. Even if they hospitalize me, I'm still getting kicked out of the country in 2 days... not that I'll let myself get hospitalized again. I think I'm kinda stuck. Any advice?
  2. FBD

    FBD Well-Known Member

    get the visa- get that taken care of then keep posting here and i know ill at least be here to support and help- and im sure there are many more here waiting for a chance to support you :hugtackles:
  3. IV2010

    IV2010 Well-Known Member

    I agree...please stay with us and let us help..
  4. Ouroboros

    Ouroboros Chat Buddy

    if you really don't want to get kicked out then going back temporarily to sort it out is your only option.

    also :welcome: to sf, I hope to see you around x
  5. scarlet21

    scarlet21 New Member

    The visa thing seems to be a bit distracting. Perhaps I should rephrase: I'm seriously thinking of [some generic suicide attempt description]. What should I do?
  6. scarlet21

    scarlet21 New Member

    Actually, nevermind. I suddenly snapped out of it... is there some disorder where you can go from extremely depressed to extremely happy within hours? The only switching disorder I know of is bipolar and that takes weeks and weeks by definition.
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