My life has been a downward spiral for the last 7 years. This past month has been extremely depressing- to the point that I'm contimplating ending it all. I don't want to hurt my family, but I just don't think I can deal with the stress, hurt, and dissapointment. I have no friends, they either died, used me and left me, or moved away and lost touch. I feel so alone, and just want someone to talk to, but am affraid of being used and hurt again. I lost my best friend three years ago last month. Had to watch him die in my arms. It kills me a little inside everyday, and gets worse as time goes by. I got pregnant four years ago, but someone what I thought I loved, and who said he wanted a family, just to have him abuse me verbally and physically. I delt with the abuse for a year before I finally left him. Now I'm raising a child all on my own, and its upsetting and hard. I have a good job, but can barely afford his care. I struggle every day. My depression has started to effect how I talk and act around him, and he thinks I'm always mad at him, which breaks my heart. I love him to death, and don't want him thinking that I don't like him, but I can't control my sadness and grief. I just want my best friend back, and someone to act like they love me, and care about me, but I know that will never happen. I just can't trust anyone anymore. I have absolutely no money, and my son needs food. I'm having to sell my stuff just to feed him. I wonder if he would be better off without me. I don't want to kill myself, but it seems like the only option to end the pain. I have been living in agony for the last 7 years, and its just too much. I can't deal with it all anymore.