I was with a girl for 6 months but we were soul mates she was everything to me and i was the man she wanted to marry. I started hanging out with my friends more than paying attention to her, everytime we fought i would break up with her because i was so caught up on going and hanging out with my friends i didnt know what i was doing to her. About a month and half ago we broke up and shes been gone since. i text her everyday how much i miss her and wanna be with her but she just tell me to leave her alone. I made a huge mistake letting her ago and ill regret it till the day i die. She was so good to me and i was to blind with my friends. Since i have cut off all my friends and just stay home crying and prayng for her to come back. She means so much to me and ill do anything to have her back. Everyone tells me to relax and let her go but i cant i miss her so fuking much and ill do anything for her. Tonight im planning on xxxx finally going thre with this. Its not just the break up thats causing me to fell like this, for the past 3 years ive been really depressed inside, ive been hating life for a while. My dads 75 years old and im so scared of losing him that i wanna die before he does cause its gonna kill me when it does. My moms is my life and i dont wanna hurt her and everytime she sees me crying she crys and it kills me inside to see her like that cause of me. i have a brother and 3 sisters but i only talk to one of my sisters about my problems but everyone just tells me itll get better but it never is cause i made this happen. This break up is my rock bottom i have nothing anymore she was my happiness. So tonight im gonna end it all and make everyone life easier without me in it and i wont hurt anymore, i cant eat, i cant sleep, i cant do anything cause i feel down all the time. I know shes gona forever so i will be gone forever also she can be happy now with someone else and without me bothering her cause im never gonna get over her i love her with everything i have and i regret my decisions till the day i die. I really need someone to talk to that understands me but theres no one everyone has the same answer "just calm down itll get better" and i cant take it anymore all i do is cry and pray to god that shes comes back. i miss her so much , i cant live without her.