Hello, I am new to the forum. I don't know where else to turn. i don't want to call a hotline because I don't want to be locked up in a hospital. I've had 3 suicide attempts within the last 2 months and I've been hospitalized for those attempts. The hospitalizations made it worse for me. It made me become even more isolated because I feel like if I tell someone how I'm feeling I'll just be tossed away into some place that doesn't help me at all. My will to live has severely diminished. I don't know what to do to regain that hope again. I was in therapy for years and it helped a little but I stopped therapy a few months ago when the thoughts came back. I felt like my therapist didn't really understand. As of now I'm in total isolation and even though I have a good support system I'm afraid to reach out to them because I feel like this has been burdensome on everyone. I just don't know where else to turn.