Don't know where I am

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by galalleni, Apr 15, 2008.

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  1. galalleni

    galalleni Well-Known Member

    Howdy All,

    Felt so much heart break and sadness in my life - not sure where I'm heading. Just don't have that will to go on - see the death and destruction around me and don't see the point in fighting it all. My cousin (my only close family) has been struggling with staying out of prison - the world put him there for unjust reasons (he stopped a man from raping a girl at a party, got charged with assault of the man). See my life right now (look in LIAO for my life story) - just don't see the point in doing anything to still feel this torment. Feels like I've already died - think I'm stuck in some kind of hell (can't die - just stuck feeling the sickness and pain) - tried several times already, know that if I try again it will be successful (the methods I have are absolute, no turning back, even for survival instinct). I just had to stop my friend from choosing suicide last night, he wasn't in the right place to be making the decision - hasn't seen the options he has yet - I have.

    This world causes me so much pain - it has to be some kind of hell - I can't think of anything else that would cause me such sadness. Weeping my heart out right now - so many people so complacent with horrible tragedies in our world - so many don't see the beauty and love that life has to offer. I can see these things - but my heart is broken by so much sadness I see - I don't know what to do. I ask myself, Do I need this life, what can I do with this? The answer is nothing I am powerless to change this world in torment - my heart breaks to see this world in such a state - I only pray and wish for happiness but it doesn't come to me. This is surely a hell - not my own - but one to which I have been committed for the tragedy with which I could not cope.

    Charlie Chaplin once said life is a tragedy up-close but a comedy in long shot. I see my life in long shot - it is still a tragedy - why did so many horrible things have to happen to me and the ones I love? I don't know how to go on.

    Have to cry for a while here.
     
  2. BrokenChaos

    BrokenChaos Member

    Take your time....

    The world is what it is, full of pain and beauty and thats the way it has always been.

    Sometimes a change in scenery will help you get a perspective on things, I know it did for me, as I travelled to Ukraine, Turkey and now Thailand and can see the real hardship and determination of people.

    We do live in a bubble, believe it or not and by seeing the world, it does show how easy and ungrateful we are for what we have.

    Im passed all that, but I can be here for those that dont want "sugar coated" replies, but honesty and real understanding....

    Smile dear :p
     
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