Howdy All, Felt so much heart break and sadness in my life - not sure where I'm heading. Just don't have that will to go on - see the death and destruction around me and don't see the point in fighting it all. My cousin (my only close family) has been struggling with staying out of prison - the world put him there for unjust reasons (he stopped a man from raping a girl at a party, got charged with assault of the man). See my life right now (look in LIAO for my life story) - just don't see the point in doing anything to still feel this torment. Feels like I've already died - think I'm stuck in some kind of hell (can't die - just stuck feeling the sickness and pain) - tried several times already, know that if I try again it will be successful (the methods I have are absolute, no turning back, even for survival instinct). I just had to stop my friend from choosing suicide last night, he wasn't in the right place to be making the decision - hasn't seen the options he has yet - I have. This world causes me so much pain - it has to be some kind of hell - I can't think of anything else that would cause me such sadness. Weeping my heart out right now - so many people so complacent with horrible tragedies in our world - so many don't see the beauty and love that life has to offer. I can see these things - but my heart is broken by so much sadness I see - I don't know what to do. I ask myself, Do I need this life, what can I do with this? The answer is nothing I am powerless to change this world in torment - my heart breaks to see this world in such a state - I only pray and wish for happiness but it doesn't come to me. This is surely a hell - not my own - but one to which I have been committed for the tragedy with which I could not cope. Charlie Chaplin once said life is a tragedy up-close but a comedy in long shot. I see my life in long shot - it is still a tragedy - why did so many horrible things have to happen to me and the ones I love? I don't know how to go on. Have to cry for a while here.