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don't know where I belong

Discussion in 'Help Me! I Need to Talk to Someone.' started by Wastingecho, Nov 18, 2013.

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  1. Wastingecho

    Wastingecho Well-Known Member

    i look around my office at all these people I don't know from countries i'll never visit and realize I don't really belong here

    I look at all the people passing me on the street whom I will never know and realize I don't belong here

    I look at home, at what my life there has become and realize I don't belong there either

    I don't belong anywhere
  2. jell

    jell Well-Known Member

    Hey its really hard when you feel like you don't belong anywhere, I can find my life feels like a game at times, I am watching it from behind a tv screen I am just a character within a play

    I question where I fit in, and why is it everybody around me seems to be sailing through life and I feel like im forever paddling upstream against a strong current!!!!
  3. flowers

    flowers Senior Member

    wastingecho, I have always felt like I did not belong. Its like so many other people do fit in to this grand scheme we call life. And yet I am an outsider. Still I do think its important for me to try to find a way to keep going. I really do.

    Jell, your words in the last paragraph remind me of a book i once read. Called Illusions. By Richard Bach.
  4. BornFree

    BornFree Well-Known Member

    :hug: from someone who doesn't fit or belong either. You are not alone.
  5. Witty_Sarcasm

    Witty_Sarcasm Eccentric writer, general weirdo, heedless heathen

    Sorry that you feel this way. I've felt this way all my life, and I doubt I ever will fit anywhere. But if I have to conform, then I think I'd rather be myself.
  6. Wastingecho

    Wastingecho Well-Known Member

    just wish I could feel like i have a place in the world
  7. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    You have a place here with us i know it is not the same i do but you are cared for here
  8. flowers

    flowers Senior Member

    yes, its true. You do have a place here with us. I think you may be taking about irl. But still I did want to say that you do have a place here. So many of us may feel the same as what you describe. I know I do. I belong nowhere irl. I am important to no one where I live. I mean nothing to anyone where I live. And my family doesnt care very much either. I just tell them I am great. Anything else would be rejected with force. So I just say I am great. And I stay clear of people. But I have sf. and it is this community that keeps me going. When nothing else does.
  9. Wastingecho

    Wastingecho Well-Known Member

    it's no good - i can't belong anywhere - if I even think I might belong somewhere, it all falls away until I 'm alone again
  10. flowers

    flowers Senior Member

    :( even here?
  11. Wastingecho

    Wastingecho Well-Known Member

    here is hard

    the people i used to connect with aren't here often if at all anymore

    can't seem to connect to any one else and this is the only "social" interaction i have any more

    can't join chat for more than a minute or two without freaking out

    lately it hurts to even COME here and realize how alone i am except that if i didn't come here it would be worse
  12. flowers

    flowers Senior Member

    Wow, I never thought of that happening. I am sorry it has happened for you. i hope you can make some good new connections here. Would you like to do that? I stopped by to leave a message for you on your profile page. But you have your messages turned off.
  13. Wastingecho

    Wastingecho Well-Known Member

    don't thnk I can

    everyone leaves then I'm just alone and forgotten agaiin

    hurts too much

    hurts now
  14. flowers

    flowers Senior Member

    :hug: :hugtackles: Thats a lot of pain you wrote of. I am so sorry its for that reason. :hug:
  15. Wastingecho

    Wastingecho Well-Known Member

    yesterday was a nightmare

    vertigo for the last three days now

    listening to the constant fighting - why are there still things on the counter - why is the turkey taking so long to cook - why do i have to do the dishes

    i just wanted to talk to my friend - the last one that i felt i could talk to about anything - just to know that i had a friend out there somewhere - but it's been two weeks since they last talked to me - now no one answers

    typing this at work because there isn't enough privacy at home any more and this is too much to try by phone

    crying at my desk - lost and alone - my head is telling me to hang in there but my heart wants me to give up and stop the pain

    i'm sorry

    sorry for breathing, sorry for taking up the time for anyone who reads this

    sorry for living
  16. mpang123

    mpang123 Well-Known Member

    You know, living independently here at my apartment, I am definitely alone when it comes to comparing my neighbors from me. I've been confronted by one of them saying that everyone here are struggling with their stuff, but nobody but me is always thinking about suicide is the only option for me. This apt. complex only has 14 neighbors and should be a tight-knit community. However, when it comes to talking about my depression, I'm not allowed anymore to express myself when I'm feeling down and suicidal because I've been told by management and some neighbors that I am too overbearing and they don't want to hear me when I get like that. They say they can't cope with my so-called "crisis" moments. Well, at least I go to intensive group therapy, have individual therapy, a social worker who does house visits, a supportive family, and the crisis line should I be so desparate. I know some people have less support than I do so I try to be there for others for support and understanding. I've been through a lot in my life too and can relate to many situations. However, I can't offer professional advice because I sometimes don't know what to say. I just hope everyone stay safe just like I'm trying to do, no matter what.
  17. flowers

    flowers Senior Member

    wastingecho, I am so very sorry for all this pain. It sounds excruciating. You are not taking up people's time here. you are in deep pain. Thats what so many of us bring to this community. Our pain. No matter how deep and excruciating it is. Do you at least have a counselor/therapist with whom you can talk? i REALLY hope so. you deserve help and connection irl. AND here !! :hugtackles:
  18. Wastingecho

    Wastingecho Well-Known Member

    therapists and such don't work for me - too many lies from too many in the past - now i just shut down - can't speak, can't even look at them

    can't talk to my wife, brothers and sister are out of the picture, definitely can't talk to my kids

    no one but myself now

    and i am getting so tired
    Last edited by a moderator: Nov 29, 2013
  19. mpang123

    mpang123 Well-Known Member

    Give the people in this forum a chance to hear you out. They're great.
  20. WildCherry

    WildCherry Staff Member ADMIN

    People here care... we really, truly do. Not everyone will leave you once they get close to you. I know it feels like that's always going to happen, because it's happened to you in the past. But not all of us will hurt you. I hope you'll at least consider letting someone in, letting someone try to help you.
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