Don't know where to post this.. but..

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by Pink Teardrops, Jul 7, 2010.

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  1. Pink Teardrops

    Pink Teardrops Well-Known Member

    The pain seems to be getting worse, has a hold on me that I can not break. I struggle to brake it's grasp, only to be pushed down again. Sleep escapes me, only a vague dream, in an ocean of dread and death. I should leave, I have over stayed my welcome, I must go. Just walk, close my eyes and open them to be somewhere else. Somewhere where I'll be safe from it. Is there such a place, why do I keep looking for it. I am certain that it is out there, but not sure if it can be found, if it wants to be found. I hear the screams all around me, so many…. But there is nothing that I can do. Stand there just listening, fighting the fear, the terror, the tears… What can I do, but stand there like the village idiot, hands tied made to watch, made to listen. I whisper 'save me' from my trembling lips. I am too weak to save myself, but my cries are not heard, falling to the ground to be silenced. But I still fight….. it has tried to bring me down, and has on so many painful memories… mental scars…. So easily hidden from others…. Mental wars fought and lost. Chains of painful recreation. Stare out the small window into the endless void, the darkness. Clawing at the walls, fingers bleeding, hurting, but that does not stop me. I must escape, find the way out, salvation. Falling to the cold, jagged ground. Feeling it cut into my back. Smelling my blood as it drips onto the floor, pooling around my body… Holding back the tears, but not for long. It is a release, a release that is needed, a release that I only have left. It is what makes me human, everything else has been taken away, but I have my tears, they stay with me, comfort me. I find a corner, holding my knees to my chest, trembling. Whispering 'save me' …… laughter all around, fingers pointing, poking, grabbing. Tugging at me, a tug of war. Horrific laughter, smirks. Body covered in a cold, sticky sweat. The salt reminding me of all the wounds, cuts, scrapes, gashes. An endless pain, despair, darkness. Sitting in the corner, knees on my chest, staring at the small window. Whispering 'save me'. Tears running down my face. Save me.
     
  2. Daphna

    Daphna Well-Known Member

    You can be saved, open your mind search out the truth that resides in your spirit. Allow yourself to forget the lies that you thought you knew and reach out to the one who can heal, save, and redeem you. He can save, he has saved so many already. You are just as important. Blessings..
     
  3. Dave_N

    Dave_N Banned Member

    Hi Emelia. Your poem was beautiful and touching. Thanks for posting it. And like Nicole said, you can be saved and you can find your salvation. You need to open your heart and allow yourself to heal. We will help you get through this. :console: :hug:
     
  4. Marty482

    Marty482 Well-Known Member

    Beautiful writing Eme!!!! Sorry its so filled with sadness. You have to reach ou tto as many people as you can to break the hold of that pain. therapists, hospitals, support and 12 step groups, friends, people here of course too. I will pray for you and hope you do too.
     
  5. Perfect Melancholy

    Perfect Melancholy SF Friend

    Hey you :console: you know I am always here if you need to chat or vent okay, sorry I have not been myself the last week, I am here though you know that. And I want you to give yourself a chance to get better, that is all I ask okay

    :hug:
     
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