I'm J. Most people call me Joyful, although I haven't felt that way in a very long time. I'm not great at opening up, but hopefully this site will help me progress. I have a tendency to mask my pain with dark humor and sarcasm, but for the sake of honesty on this site, I'll leave it off of the forums. And I have a feeling I won't need to cover anything up on here, so that's a good thing. Coming across this site this morning is keeping me from eating pills so that's a step in the right direction. I need help. And just typing that one sentence makes me cry. That's the first time I've simply expressed it, and I want to learn how to say it out loud.