Don't know who I can trust anymore??

Discussion in 'Mental Health Disorders' started by Pebble, Jul 18, 2010.

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  1. Pebble

    Pebble Well-Known Member

    I really don't know who I can trust anymore, I feel like everyones against me and just trying to get me. Why does it always come back to get me? Why can't they just leave me alone! I can't take feeling like this anymore, I feel like I'm always suffocating and falling further into this black hole :sad:
  2. Bambi

    Bambi Well-Known Member

    Wow Pebble what has happened?

    We are here for you...try talking it out.. you don't deserve to feel this way that is for sure..

  3. Pebble

    Pebble Well-Known Member

    I feel like I'm always running from them but they always catch up with me
    I have to pretend to everyone around me, family, cpn, dr everyone that everything is going well and that I'm ok but I can't do it anymore. I can't keep running
    I'm sorry I'm so crap at helping others on here
  4. Bambi

    Bambi Well-Known Member

    Pebbles you obviously weren't around yesterday when i was falling apart and helping nobody...and I have been around to see you help others so lets leave that whole who helps who alone for right now and get to what is going on with you.

    I too "fake" it around real life people...they just don't understand and that is why I am so glad you posted..they just don't get us and the acting is trying so let down and be yourself here hun...take a rest.

    Now as far as the doc I don't like hearing that as that is how you get help and they can't help if they think everything is okay...and well i got news for you they usually know something is up anyhow.

    Why do you feel you can't be open with your doctor? That really concerns me..

    As far as here, have at it we all know the deal!
  5. Pebble

    Pebble Well-Known Member

    My dr is only happy with me if I'm happy, if she knows I'm struggling she just gets annoyed. My cpn doesn't care anyways and the only 1 real life professional person I could talk to left.
    I'm sorry you've been struggling - how are you feeling today? if you ever need to talk then I'm here
  6. Bambi

    Bambi Well-Known Member

    I am great...did a bit of soul searching and realized what was bothering me and now I am back good as ever.

    I think it is time for a new doctor don't you.

    Who left you hun?
  7. Pebble

    Pebble Well-Known Member

    Everyone knows everyone at my drs surgery though, I'm worried I would offend my dr by asking for someone else??
    My sessions with my dbt therapist finished - she was the only person that I had ever been able to talk to and be honest with, I wasn' at first but then got to know her better, she's the only person that seemed to understand me and didn't patronize me or make me feel stupid. But dbt only lasts for year and half and then your no longer aloud contact with them, except for a couple of follow up apps. I dont know anymore, I dont know how to stop myself feeling like this all of the time, why am I such an awful person what am I doing so wrong? No matter how hard I try to run it all just catches up with you.
    I'm glad things have started to pick up for you, you are always helping people on here and I'm really grateful.
    I have to get off here though, my dad keeps walking past the room and I think he can hear me typing, I'l be in more trouble than i can imagine if he finds out i'm on here. i'm sorry for being a pain to you
  8. UnkelHeit

    UnkelHeit Well-Known Member

    Pebble, you have to worry about yourself first and foremost. I can understand how you're feeling but if that's what you need switch doctors. If not that is there another practice altogether you could go to? Besides the doctor is a professional and an adult. They can handle it. Do what's best for you not for them.

    As for you being such an awful person, if you're on here helpings others, that says to me you're far from a bad person. Some people seem to just come and go, only talking when they need help. It doesn't sound like you're doing anything wrong if you're actively seeking help except for not being completely open. We have thought patterns that we need change but that takes time.
  9. Pebble

    Pebble Well-Known Member

    Thanks for the help x I'm not so good at being open about stuff, sometimes when its really killing you and you just want to scream it out I just can't, I find i cant talk about anything to the proffessional or family people around me who are meant to help. When I have before they've just told me I need to try harder. My dr was horrible yesterday, she asked me ' what did you actually expect from this app?' this was after I told her that I was struggling with the voices and thoughts and finding it hard to keep pushing them away and then she told me that no one can do anything as its only me who needs to try harder - I am trying so hard all of the time, thats why I'm still here but I just want to give up now. I'm never going to see my dr again definatly not nor my cpn, they dont understand anyways so whats the point. If I need a dr for some physical health problem I'l just go see someone else.
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